20 Photo Sessions That Should Have Never Happened

20 Photo Sessions That Should Have Never Happened

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When life gives you lemons, dress in matching outfits, head on down to the local photographer, get your family portrait taken, and post your family portrait on the internet so that I can compile another installment of 20 Photo Sessions That Should Have Never Happened.

Until you do, enjoy these 20 Photo Sessions That Should Have Never Happened.

20. Frodo & Co.

ye-old-awkwardness1

The baby is the only one who realizes how completely gay dressing up as Lord of the Rings characters for the family Christmas photo is.

A hundred bucks says he grows up to be one of those trench-coat wearing types who kills their family — and this little guy, at age 17, will follow through with the stereotype — unless big frodobro in the back beats him to it.

19. Chicks, sit on the floor, we’re the D-Bags

redneck_prom1

Nothing says douchebag like seven douchebags being douchebags — Then they had to go and flex their muscles.

Is that a young Michael Phelps on the far left?

18. Duct tape Ameritux

america

Points for being patriotic, but what the fuck is going on here? Are two photographers taking pictures in the studio at the same time and the couple couldn’t decide which camera to look at?

Oh, wait, these two can’t afford studio time… When I said “two photographers” I meant, “his mom” and “her mom”.

17. She wears the pants, he wears the baby pink bunny ears

christmas-199511

I can’t figure out if the person standing middle back is a boy or a girl — possibly the family’s maid?

I see the mom wears black bunny ears and the father and son standing on the left both wear baby-pink ears. The fact that the person standing in the back also wears baby-pink bunny ears leads me to believe this is in fact a boy — because wearing baby-pink bunny ears makes you a man — at least in this family.

Though, no one is getting laid any time soon so I guess it doesn’t really matter.

16. Fewer words mean more

a296_y11

So I’ll let the photo speak for its subject.

15. Awkward hand pat

fats

I can’t decide what is more awkward, that a) he doesn’t want to passionately embrace the chick because he’ll have to grab onto her jolly jelly rolls, or b) that she cannot sit comfortably in his lap because his stomach is in the way.

Next time, take the picture standing up — And maybe not wear the zip-up-collared-athletic-wear that clearly hasn’t been getting very much use.

14. Wat?

duck-tape-prom-470-1235660168-01

What’s with the shoes above the heads… and the zebra-print 3/4 sleeve jacket… and the astroturf floor… and all the crap going on in the background… and the wait a sec, if you take her out of that hot pink dog house, she’s kinda cute…

13. Just look at the camera, buddy

xmas07-21

C’mon Mario, you got this buddy, front and center.

OK, good, much better…

Now smile, annnnnnnd say cheeeeee…

*Wonnk* (the sound of his eyes crossing)

Dammit Mario, look at the camera…

*he looks up cross eyed at the camera-man*

Ah, fuck it.

*click*

12. A penguin, really?

family99s31

You can get away with the little gray stuffed animal on the left, people will still think you’re kind of strange, but no stranger than you already look.

Now, if you get overzealous and throw in the massive stuffed penguin that takes up about as much screen space as your kids, people start asking questions.

11. Whinnie the really ghetto black guy

pooh

When you reach into his jar of honey he shoots you in the face and steals your shoes.

10. Shoulda left the kids at home

frenchfamily1

No one’s putting this up on their fridge, except maybe me.

9. Soap Oprah focus

pregnant-trashy-couple1

Nothing says classy like a naked, pregnant, tattooed, bleach tipped, earring wearing, subtle ass-grab in front of a mystical matte-painting, through a soft focus lens.

8. Just hangin’ with Mom and Dads

submitted-by-the-bonfields11

Hey Mom.

Hi Stevie.

Hey Dad.

Hi Steve.

Phil.

Steve, you know, you can call me Dad too you know…

FML.

7. The Pensive Ginger

durbinhhban-111

The little matchstick in the middle got it bad.

6. Twister with no mat?

were-going-to-go-ahead-and-say-its-most-awkward-for-mom1

Dad makes the whole family twisterfuck just so he can say he was in four states at the same time, which is another way of saying, check out these triceps, pussy.

5. Bet you can guess who’s idea this was

schwartz-family-or11

If you guessed the guy wearing the Canadian Tuxedo (all of them?) sucking on some persian chick-stache, you’re wrong.

If you guessed the kid sitting on the windowsill that has his leg up to hide the fact that he has a hard on, you are correct.

4. When it comes to Mom, hand placement is key

los_511

‘Nuff said.

3. “I thought you said you had a son?”

a296_y81

“Uh, that is my son, stupid.”

“Oh.”

2. Nothing about this is OK

weirdest-family-photo-ever-probably-nsfw1

Once the little girl starts playing with dad’s faux junk they might as well be naked, because explicit pedo-incest, I assume, is much less disturbing than seeing pedo-incest and then realizing it’s only faux pedo-incest that looks identical to real pedo-incest — mindfuck.

1. Family Tree

2002-family-picture11

This is what happens after Ted Haggard does some crystal meth and has sex with someone in your family tree.

Nothing says happy holidays like the denim-clad Goldsteins vertical-spooning one another and nutting themselves on the tree branch in the backyard.

And… Liftoff!

More at AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com

  • Rei

    Awesome!
    Haha I lawl'd

  • Rei

    Awesome!
    Haha I lawl'd

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/MartinPWPH MartinPWPH

    Number 2 is just plain wrong!

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/MartinPWPH MartinPWPH

    Number 2 is just plain wrong!

  • http://epiblogography.50webs.com/index.htm Clicksy

    Number 2 is wrong on so many levels. I may have nightmares tonight….

  • http://epiblogography.50webs.com/index.htm Clicksy

    Number 2 is wrong on so many levels. I may have nightmares tonight….

  • http://epiblogography.50webs.com/index.htm Clicksy

    Number 2 is wrong on so many levels. I may have nightmares tonight….

  • eeuuhhhhh

    This entire page is wrong…………..

  • eeuuhhhhh

    This entire page is wrong…………..

  • fucyouup

    RACIST!!

  • fucyouup

    RACIST!!

  • Justaguy

    Shouldn't #9 read "Soap opera", not "Oprah"?

    • BrothaJonze

      haha yes it should. did not catch that, but now that you pointed it out, i sorta like 'soap oprah' — gonna have to keep it…

    • BrothaJonze

      haha yes it should. did not catch that, but now that you pointed it out, i sorta like 'soap oprah' — gonna have to keep it…

  • Justaguy

    Shouldn't #9 read "Soap opera", not "Oprah"?

    • BrothaJonze

      haha yes it should. did not catch that, but now that you pointed it out, i sorta like 'soap oprah' — gonna have to keep it…

  • http://www.randomnessblog.com/ Jeff Flowers

    wow… I don't even know what to say about most of these!

  • http://www.randomnessblog.com Jeff Flowers

    wow… I don't even know what to say about most of these!

  • http://www.lost.eu/732ef Jessica

    Oh my FSM…

    #2 is wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong.

  • http://www.lost.eu/732ef Jessica

    Oh my FSM…

    #2 is wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong.

  • Katya

    The little girl in #2 has a frickin OUTTIE between her legs!! WTF? I get the whole "anatomicaly correct" part of the suit, but what kind of mom lets this fly? And BTW, why is the little guys honker bigger than mine???

  • Katya

    The little girl in #2 has a frickin OUTTIE between her legs!! WTF? I get the whole "anatomicaly correct" part of the suit, but what kind of mom lets this fly? And BTW, why is the little guys honker bigger than mine???

  • Kelly

    But really, what's with all the derogatory statements about black people?

    Couldn't afford studio time? Looks like they could afford 100's of rolls of duct tape to make the world's most pointless outfit.

    And the pooh? I think you're more likely to be shot by the kid in #12 when he realizes he spent his childhood being molested by a stuffed aardvark.

    The only thing scarier than these mutants is your ignorance, hopefully evolution will sort both out.

  • Kelly

    But really, what's with all the derogatory statements about black people?

    Couldn't afford studio time? Looks like they could afford 100's of rolls of duct tape to make the world's most pointless outfit.

    And the pooh? I think you're more likely to be shot by the kid in #12 when he realizes he spent his childhood being molested by a stuffed aardvark.

    The only thing scarier than these mutants is your ignorance, hopefully evolution will sort both out.

  • Kelly

    But really, what's with all the derogatory statements about black people?

    Couldn't afford studio time? Looks like they could afford 100's of rolls of duct tape to make the world's most pointless outfit.

    And the pooh? I think you're more likely to be shot by the kid in #12 when he realizes he spent his childhood being molested by a stuffed aardvark.

    The only thing scarier than these mutants is your ignorance, hopefully evolution will sort both out.

  • http://stephinfectionisinyourhead.blogspot.com/ Stephanie

    #2 has scarred me for LIFE.

  • http://stephinfectionisinyourhead.blogspot.com Stephanie

    #2 has scarred me for LIFE.

  • erin

    this whole page is copied from awkwardfamilyphotos.com. try giving credit where credit is due my friend.

    • RPJames

      Try reading the article before posting retarded comments dumbass.

    • RPJames

      Try reading the article before posting retarded comments dumbass.

  • erin

    this whole page is copied from awkwardfamilyphotos.com. try giving credit where credit is due my friend.

    • RPJames

      Try reading the article before posting retarded comments dumbass.

  • M.C.

    Number 18 and #14 are both high school prom photos. Duck Tape every year awards college scholarships to high school seniors who design and make their own prom dresses and suits completely out of Duck Tape. The best dressed couple wins a full years tuition. So I don't think they look that ridiculous. It makes me question everything else though.

  • M.C.

    Number 18 and #14 are both high school prom photos. Duck Tape every year awards college scholarships to high school seniors who design and make their own prom dresses and suits completely out of Duck Tape. The best dressed couple wins a full years tuition. So I don't think they look that ridiculous. It makes me question everything else though.

  • M.C.

    Number 18 and #14 are both high school prom photos. Duck Tape every year awards college scholarships to high school seniors who design and make their own prom dresses and suits completely out of Duck Tape. The best dressed couple wins a full years tuition. So I don't think they look that ridiculous. It makes me question everything else though.

  • M.C.

    Number 18 and #14 are both high school prom photos. Duck Tape every year awards college scholarships to high school seniors who design and make their own prom dresses and suits completely out of Duck Tape. The best dressed couple wins a full years tuition. So I don't think they look that ridiculous. It makes me question everything else though.

  • Jane

    Oh my science, I just crapped my pants laughing! :D

  • Jane

    Oh my science, I just crapped my pants laughing! :D

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/CCook CCook

    About the "racist comment": Yeah, it's a little bit racist. But did you see the look in his face? He looks pissed! So even if it were a white guy with that crazy stalkerish stare, you could still say he'd shoot you in the face. Racism is in the eye of the beholder.

    • nor cal amy

      WELL STATED!!! :)

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/CCook CCook

    About the "racist comment": Yeah, it's a little bit racist. But did you see the look in his face? He looks pissed! So even if it were a white guy with that crazy stalkerish stare, you could still say he'd shoot you in the face. Racism is in the eye of the beholder.

    • nor cal amy

      WELL STATED!!! :)

  • smerry

    They are all so creepy!!! No. 19 and the muscle guys…. they had the girls on the floor to hide the fact that one of the guys was dateless… looosers. No. 2… what the F&*#!!!

  • smerry

    They are all so creepy!!! No. 19 and the muscle guys…. they had the girls on the floor to hide the fact that one of the guys was dateless… looosers. No. 2… what the F&*#!!!

  • smerry

    They are all so creepy!!! No. 19 and the muscle guys…. they had the girls on the floor to hide the fact that one of the guys was dateless… looosers. No. 2… what the F&*#!!!

  • hogiewan

    #4 could be his stepmom

  • hogiewan

    #4 could be his stepmom

  • Stephanie

    AGREED.

  • Stephanie

    AGREED.

  • Stephanie

    AGREED.

  • Stephanie

    AGREED.

  • Anonymous

    I think I'm forever scarred by #2

  • Anonymous

    I think I'm forever scarred by #2

  • tartar

    not to be a troll or anything, but #1 is clearly shopped. badly, too.

  • tartar

    not to be a troll or anything, but #1 is clearly shopped. badly, too.

  • tartar

    not to be a troll or anything, but #1 is clearly shopped. badly, too.

  • kimmy

    kind of funny but u shouldnt make fun of people because they're cross eyed… and u mentioned something about Persians too…. killed the humour :)

  • kimmy

    kind of funny but u shouldnt make fun of people because they're cross eyed… and u mentioned something about Persians too…. killed the humour :)

  • RichardInDallas

    #4 – Did Eugene Levy say it was OK to post his family photo?

  • RichardInDallas

    #4 – Did Eugene Levy say it was OK to post his family photo?

  • amy

    some people need to just enjoy the day, and be willing to laugh…nothing racist about these comments (someone's always got to complain though, point the finger…) – quit stressing, live life, laugh lots, grow up – not every remark or 'joke' directed at a certain group (or even a disability) or racist or judgmental – some people just take it better than others – these were all WONDERFUL

  • amy

    some people need to just enjoy the day, and be willing to laugh…nothing racist about these comments (someone's always got to complain though, point the finger…) – quit stressing, live life, laugh lots, grow up – not every remark or 'joke' directed at a certain group (or even a disability) or racist or judgmental – some people just take it better than others – these were all WONDERFUL

  • amy

    some people need to just enjoy the day, and be willing to laugh…nothing racist about these comments (someone's always got to complain though, point the finger…) – quit stressing, live life, laugh lots, grow up – not every remark or 'joke' directed at a certain group (or even a disability) or racist or judgmental – some people just take it better than others – these were all WONDERFUL

  • Joey Pee Hands

    about the racism. it's sort of a thing though.. i mean the rest of the descriptions are pretty bad, but really funny. Everything offends someone. I think it's a stereotype but I think it's funny. Go to a library and check out and burn 1001 jokes and gaffs. I'm sure polish people indians indians italians chinese and eskimos will all bring a lot of whale oil to help the fire.

  • Joey Pee Hands

    about the racism. it's sort of a thing though.. i mean the rest of the descriptions are pretty bad, but really funny. Everything offends someone. I think it's a stereotype but I think it's funny. Go to a library and check out and burn 1001 jokes and gaffs. I'm sure polish people indians indians italians chinese and eskimos will all bring a lot of whale oil to help the fire.

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