20 Photo Sessions That Should Have Never Happened

photosessions 20 Photo Sessions That Should Have Never Happened

When life gives you lemons, dress in matching outfits, head on down to the local photographer, get your family portrait taken, and post your family portrait on the internet so that I can compile another installment of 20 Photo Sessions That Should Have Never Happened.

Until you do, enjoy these 20 Photo Sessions That Should Have Never Happened.

20. Frodo & Co.

ye old awkwardness1 20 Photo Sessions That Should Have Never Happened

The baby is the only one who realizes how completely gay dressing up as Lord of the Rings characters for the family Christmas photo is.

A hundred bucks says he grows up to be one of those trench-coat wearing types who kills their family — and this little guy, at age 17, will follow through with the stereotype — unless big frodobro in the back beats him to it.

19. Chicks, sit on the floor, we’re the D-Bags

redneck prom1 20 Photo Sessions That Should Have Never Happened

Nothing says douchebag like seven douchebags being douchebags — Then they had to go and flex their muscles.

Is that a young Michael Phelps on the far left?

18. Duct tape Ameritux

america 20 Photo Sessions That Should Have Never Happened

Points for being patriotic, but what the fuck is going on here? Are two photographers taking pictures in the studio at the same time and the couple couldn’t decide which camera to look at?

Oh, wait, these two can’t afford studio time… When I said “two photographers” I meant, “his mom” and “her mom”.

17. She wears the pants, he wears the baby pink bunny ears

christmas 199511 590x800 20 Photo Sessions That Should Have Never Happened

I can’t figure out if the person standing middle back is a boy or a girl — possibly the family’s maid?

I see the mom wears black bunny ears and the father and son standing on the left both wear baby-pink ears. The fact that the person standing in the back also wears baby-pink bunny ears leads me to believe this is in fact a boy — because wearing baby-pink bunny ears makes you a man — at least in this family.

Though, no one is getting laid any time soon so I guess it doesn’t really matter.

16. Fewer words mean more

a296 y11 20 Photo Sessions That Should Have Never Happened

So I’ll let the photo speak for its subject.

15. Awkward hand pat

fats 20 Photo Sessions That Should Have Never Happened

I can’t decide what is more awkward, that a) he doesn’t want to passionately embrace the chick because he’ll have to grab onto her jolly jelly rolls, or b) that she cannot sit comfortably in his lap because his stomach is in the way.

Next time, take the picture standing up — And maybe not wear the zip-up-collared-athletic-wear that clearly hasn’t been getting very much use.

14. Wat?

duck tape prom 470 1235660168 01 20 Photo Sessions That Should Have Never Happened

What’s with the shoes above the heads… and the zebra-print 3/4 sleeve jacket… and the astroturf floor… and all the crap going on in the background… and the wait a sec, if you take her out of that hot pink dog house, she’s kinda cute…

13. Just look at the camera, buddy

xmas07 21 565x800 20 Photo Sessions That Should Have Never Happened

C’mon Mario, you got this buddy, front and center.

OK, good, much better…

Now smile, annnnnnnd say cheeeeee…

*Wonnk* (the sound of his eyes crossing)

Dammit Mario, look at the camera…

*he looks up cross eyed at the camera-man*

Ah, fuck it.

*click*

12. A penguin, really?

family99s31 20 Photo Sessions That Should Have Never Happened

You can get away with the little gray stuffed animal on the left, people will still think you’re kind of strange, but no stranger than you already look.

Now, if you get overzealous and throw in the massive stuffed penguin that takes up about as much screen space as your kids, people start asking questions.

11. Whinnie the really ghetto black guy

pooh 20 Photo Sessions That Should Have Never Happened

When you reach into his jar of honey he shoots you in the face and steals your shoes.

10. Shoulda left the kids at home

frenchfamily1 20 Photo Sessions That Should Have Never Happened

No one’s putting this up on their fridge, except maybe me.

9. Soap Oprah focus

pregnant trashy couple1 20 Photo Sessions That Should Have Never Happened

Nothing says classy like a naked, pregnant, tattooed, bleach tipped, earring wearing, subtle ass-grab in front of a mystical matte-painting, through a soft focus lens.

8. Just hangin’ with Mom and Dads

submitted by the bonfields11 610x509 20 Photo Sessions That Should Have Never Happened

Hey Mom.

Hi Stevie.

Hey Dad.

Hi Steve.

Phil.

Steve, you know, you can call me Dad too you know…

FML.

7. The Pensive Ginger

durbinhhban 111 20 Photo Sessions That Should Have Never Happened

The little matchstick in the middle got it bad.

6. Twister with no mat?

were going to go ahead and say its most awkward for mom1 20 Photo Sessions That Should Have Never Happened

Dad makes the whole family twisterfuck just so he can say he was in four states at the same time, which is another way of saying, check out these triceps, pussy.

5. Bet you can guess who’s idea this was

schwartz family or11 20 Photo Sessions That Should Have Never Happened

If you guessed the guy wearing the Canadian Tuxedo (all of them?) sucking on some persian chick-stache, you’re wrong.

If you guessed the kid sitting on the windowsill that has his leg up to hide the fact that he has a hard on, you are correct.

4. When it comes to Mom, hand placement is key

los 511 610x631 20 Photo Sessions That Should Have Never Happened

‘Nuff said.

3. “I thought you said you had a son?”

a296 y81 20 Photo Sessions That Should Have Never Happened

“Uh, that is my son, stupid.”

“Oh.”

2. Nothing about this is OK

weirdest family photo ever probably nsfw1 20 Photo Sessions That Should Have Never Happened

Once the little girl starts playing with dad’s faux junk they might as well be naked, because explicit pedo-incest, I assume, is much less disturbing than seeing pedo-incest and then realizing it’s only faux pedo-incest that looks identical to real pedo-incest — mindfuck.

1. Family Tree

2002 family picture11 610x504 20 Photo Sessions That Should Have Never Happened

This is what happens after Ted Haggard does some crystal meth and has sex with someone in your family tree.

Nothing says happy holidays like the denim-clad Goldsteins vertical-spooning one another and nutting themselves on the tree branch in the backyard.

And… Liftoff!

More at AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com

  • RichardInDallas

    #4 – Did Eugene Levy say it was OK to post his family photo?

  • RichardInDallas

    #4 – Did Eugene Levy say it was OK to post his family photo?

  • amy

    some people need to just enjoy the day, and be willing to laugh…nothing racist about these comments (someone's always got to complain though, point the finger…) – quit stressing, live life, laugh lots, grow up – not every remark or 'joke' directed at a certain group (or even a disability) or racist or judgmental – some people just take it better than others – these were all WONDERFUL

  • amy

    some people need to just enjoy the day, and be willing to laugh…nothing racist about these comments (someone's always got to complain though, point the finger…) – quit stressing, live life, laugh lots, grow up – not every remark or 'joke' directed at a certain group (or even a disability) or racist or judgmental – some people just take it better than others – these were all WONDERFUL

  • amy

    some people need to just enjoy the day, and be willing to laugh…nothing racist about these comments (someone's always got to complain though, point the finger…) – quit stressing, live life, laugh lots, grow up – not every remark or 'joke' directed at a certain group (or even a disability) or racist or judgmental – some people just take it better than others – these were all WONDERFUL

  • Joey Pee Hands

    about the racism. it's sort of a thing though.. i mean the rest of the descriptions are pretty bad, but really funny. Everything offends someone. I think it's a stereotype but I think it's funny. Go to a library and check out and burn 1001 jokes and gaffs. I'm sure polish people indians indians italians chinese and eskimos will all bring a lot of whale oil to help the fire.

  • Joey Pee Hands

    about the racism. it's sort of a thing though.. i mean the rest of the descriptions are pretty bad, but really funny. Everything offends someone. I think it's a stereotype but I think it's funny. Go to a library and check out and burn 1001 jokes and gaffs. I'm sure polish people indians indians italians chinese and eskimos will all bring a lot of whale oil to help the fire.

  • http://www.hauduyizuy4.com Luigi Fulk

    I simply want to mention I’m beginner to blogging and site-building and actually savored your blog site. Likely I’m going to bookmark your blog post . You amazingly come with tremendous stories. Regards for revealing your website page.

  • http://www.hauduyizuy4.com Matthew C. Kriner

    I just want to mention I am just newbie to blogs and actually liked you’re website. Most likely I’m likely to bookmark your blog . You actually come with terrific articles. Thank you for sharing your website page.