5 Unfortunate Moments In Boners

5. The Burgundy Boner

burgandy boner 5 Unfortunate Moments In Boners

Was it staged? Of course it was staged, but it sets the pace and the theme for today’s Top 5. Strong force and proud ownership make this untimely boner stand out from the rest.

4. The Poolside Speedo Boner

l 500x374 5 Unfortunate Moments In Boners

Was it staged? Unless this guy has a sense of humor about himself, this is a genuine untimely boner. His choice in Speedo over, well, anything else, further suggests this guy is all business, which renders it an honest boner.

Notice how there are no chicks in the pool – makes you wonder what he’s so excited about, right? He better put that thing to sleep before entering his lane – when you’re swimming for speed, the last thing you want is more drag than your belly already creates. Though I suppose he might be training, in which case his boner would act as parachute does to a sprinter training for the Olympics.

3. The Notorious Clinton Boner

bill clinton boner 5 Unfortunate Moments In Boners

I know that when you hear, “Clinton has a boner,” you immediately think of Hillary – But as you can see, it’s Slick Willy’s pride and joy.

Was it staged? The fact that Hillary is in the boat with him leads me to believe it’s staged, but the pronunciation of his camel tail suggests that it is in fact, an honest untimely boner.

Which is worse? Bill or Hillary naked… Throw Chelsea in the equation too and if you didn’t vomit before, I hope you didn’t eat tuna.

2. The Tool Teacher Boner

teacher boner 5 Unfortunate Moments In Boners

Was it staged? This, like the swimmer’s boner, is a toughie. Under what circumstances does a student get away with whipping out their cell phone and snapping a picture of Professor Dick Whycker‘s untimely boner?

All four expressions however, look genuine. The fact that two students are looking at the camera and not at the boner in question suggests surprise in the fact that someone would dare take a picture during class.

Notice the awkward hand positioning and uncomfortably sucked in stomach – both are difficult to accomplish naturally.

Final ruling: Genuine Untimely Boner.

1. The Tentpole Boner

boner 499x375 5 Unfortunate Moments In Boners

Everyone knows that basketball shorts and chicks in bikinis go together like Mel Gibson and Jews – But the question remains, was it staged?

In examining the protrusion of the upper part of her cheek, the girl in the pink bikini appears to be smiling as if she knows what is going on behind her – a clue that this untimely boner could be staged. Her friend’s naturally unaware stance and the lady in the back’s inability to stomach the scene on the other hand, suggest the opposite.

But for the final ruling we must examine the subject himself. Look at the posture: legs partially crossed, farmer’s tan, awkwardness, arms folded over the stomach in an attempt to shade the boner without being obvious – all signs that this kid hasn’t seen many girls in bikinis. Circumstantially this untimely boner has only one ruling…

Final Decision: Organic Untimely Boner.

Other Stuff We Like:
Fun Stuff Do To With Your Mom (holytaco)
Bob Saget Meltdown (cameltap)
Kappa Kappa Drama (Banned)
Streakers At Petco (bustedcoverage)
Jenny McCarthy Bikini (drunkenstepfather)
Matt Damon Has Got It All Figured Out (celebslam)

Supporting the pins (banned)

  • SeanThomas

    For whatever reason, I have the voice of Van Gundy in my head from that ESPN commercial for pic #2. “Huuuh?!”

  • SeanThomas

    For whatever reason, I have the voice of Van Gundy in my head from that ESPN commercial for pic #2. “Huuuh?!”

  • SeanThomas

    For whatever reason, I have the voice of Van Gundy in my head from that ESPN commercial for pic #2. “Huuuh?!”

  • Todd

    This is pretty funny but you definitely could have put in the Road Trip scene where the Grandfather knocked over a statue with his boner.

  • Todd

    This is pretty funny but you definitely could have put in the Road Trip scene where the Grandfather knocked over a statue with his boner.

  • Todd

    This is pretty funny but you definitely could have put in the Road Trip scene where the Grandfather knocked over a statue with his boner.

  • Bobby Smith

    what a mother fu©king stupid @ss ©um eating fu©khole

  • Bobby Smith

    what a mother fu©king stupid @ss ©um eating fu©khole

  • Adam

    OMG!!!!!!!!! BUBBLES THAT GUYS TEACHES AT MY SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Adam

    OMG!!!!!!!!! BUBBLES THAT GUYS TEACHES AT MY SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Adam

    OMG!!!!!!!!! BUBBLES THAT GUYS TEACHES AT MY SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Isaak

    That guy in #2 is a sub at my school!!!!!!!!!!! OMG!! I’m not kidding!!

  • Isaak

    That guy in #2 is a sub at my school!!!!!!!!!!! OMG!! I’m not kidding!!

  • Isaak

    That guy in #2 is a sub at my school!!!!!!!!!!! OMG!! I’m not kidding!!

  • Isaak

    WTF!! THAT GUYS SUBS AT MY SCHOOL!! NO JOKE, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

  • Isaak

    WTF!! THAT GUYS SUBS AT MY SCHOOL!! NO JOKE, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

  • Thomas

    AHH NUMBER TWO IS BUBBLES HE TEACHES AT MY SCHOOOOL

  • Thomas

    AHH NUMBER TWO IS BUBBLES HE TEACHES AT MY SCHOOOOL

  • Thomas

    AHH NUMBER TWO IS BUBBLES HE TEACHES AT MY SCHOOOOL

  • jo

    omg tah tnumber to is my uncle!

  • jo

    omg tah tnumber to is my uncle!

  • http://fdadfa jo

    omg tah tnumber to is my uncle!

  • http://www.daguys.ca/ Charles M

    BVWAHAHWAHAH! Bubbles! #2. A sub at my school (As many have already mentioned here!)

    Bubbles is famous. I wonder if he’ll ever see this? Haha… I can’t believe this picture is still around.

  • http://www.daguys.ca/ Charles M

    BVWAHAHWAHAH! Bubbles! #2. A sub at my school (As many have already mentioned here!)

    Bubbles is famous. I wonder if he’ll ever see this? Haha… I can’t believe this picture is still around.

  • http://www.daguys.ca/ Charles M

    BVWAHAHWAHAH! Bubbles! #2. A sub at my school (As many have already mentioned here!)

    Bubbles is famous. I wonder if he’ll ever see this? Haha… I can’t believe this picture is still around.

  • http://www.daguys.ca Charles M

    BVWAHAHWAHAH! Bubbles! #2. A sub at my school (As many have already mentioned here!)

    Bubbles is famous. I wonder if he’ll ever see this? Haha… I can’t believe this picture is still around.

  • boner boy

    lol how embaressing i feal for them 0.o not

  • boner boy

    lol how embaressing i feal for them 0.o not

  • boner boy

    lol how embaressing i feal for them 0.o not

  • hiland

    you forgot the van damme boner. youtube it.

  • hiland

    you forgot the van damme boner. youtube it.

  • hiland

    you forgot the van damme boner. youtube it.

  • moshimoshi

    1. Subject knows the camera is there and covers his stomach? It’s staged between the subject and the photographer, no-one else in the frame is in on it. 3. Clinton – omfg, how many heads of state have been seen with a boner? That’s one for quiz night. Btw I think the expression is ‘pronounced nature of….’ not ‘pronunciation’, it’s not a word, it’s a boner. 4. Not a real boner, either photoshopped or he’s just somewhat ‘thrust forward’, probably the former. 5. Comedy show using prosthesis. So only 2. is (probably) real. 1 out of 5. Meh…

  • moshimoshi

    1. Subject knows the camera is there and covers his stomach? It’s staged between the subject and the photographer, no-one else in the frame is in on it. 3. Clinton – omfg, how many heads of state have been seen with a boner? That’s one for quiz night. Btw I think the expression is ‘pronounced nature of….’ not ‘pronunciation’, it’s not a word, it’s a boner. 4. Not a real boner, either photoshopped or he’s just somewhat ‘thrust forward’, probably the former. 5. Comedy show using prosthesis. So only 2. is (probably) real. 1 out of 5. Meh…

  • moshimoshi

    … oh yeah, and 3. But only 2. is an unproblematic, uncomplicated, glorious though small and illegal in a classroom setting… boner.

  • moshimoshi

    … oh yeah, and 3. But only 2. is an unproblematic, uncomplicated, glorious though small and illegal in a classroom setting… boner.

  • guest

    Oh give me a break!

    #4 a swimmer in training? BS with that gut. Besides that is how a relaxed dick looks in speedos – why its only 1" high.

    #3 Clinton boner? possibly just starched pants standing up at the middle of the zipper.

    This is the saddest gay boner obsession page ever.

  • guest

    Oh give me a break!

    #4 a swimmer in training? BS with that gut. Besides that is how a relaxed dick looks in speedos – why its only 1" high.

    #3 Clinton boner? possibly just starched pants standing up at the middle of the zipper.

    This is the saddest gay boner obsession page ever.

  • guest

    #1 looks like his shorts are snagged on something. I would hate to think any dick came to that sharp and thin a point. Also looks like he is photoshop-ped into the picture and not too skillfully either because there is something wrong with perspectives. Plus his posture is leaning 15 degrees off the vertical of the ground and based on his height proportions his feet would be six inches under the dirt. The Photoshop-per probably made a mistake because the actual picture is not square to the ground.

  • guest

    #1 looks like his shorts are snagged on something. I would hate to think any dick came to that sharp and thin a point. Also looks like he is photoshop-ped into the picture and not too skillfully either because there is something wrong with perspectives. Plus his posture is leaning 15 degrees off the vertical of the ground and based on his height proportions his feet would be six inches under the dirt. The Photoshop-per probably made a mistake because the actual picture is not square to the ground.

  • guest

    I was going to give you #2 – but then I asked myself "where in the hell is the zipper flap on those mens pants?"

    Another Photoshopper mistake.

  • guest

    I was going to give you #2 – but then I asked myself "where in the hell is the zipper flap on those mens pants?"

    Another Photoshopper mistake.

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