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7 Moments in Mixed Messages

16 October 2008 28 Comments

I started compiling a folder full of images that offer mixed messages and this is what I came up with. Keep in mind that these are not in any particular order, seven is actually my favorite… Next to that Big Lebowski quote of course.

7. Shirt of Irony

smallbeautiful 7 Moments in Mixed Messages

Just a little food for thought – If you truly believe that “small is beautiful” you better quit honeymooning at Burger King. And if someone plays a magic trick on you and you do find yourself at Burger King, try to lay off the 30 cent bonus bacon. I know it’s tough, but please just try.

6. Conflicting Seasons

tempdifference1 7 Moments in Mixed Messages

When I see a brother in snow gear on one bench and a possibly completely naked guy on another bench in the same picture, I think one thing – Cover your god forsaken saggy hairy man boobs.

Then once I’m over the disgusting nakedness and what appears to be winter attire during summer, I consider the black guy’s strategy. Maybe he knows something I don’t. Maybe all that gear is protecting him from the sun while the naked people bake in it.

Or more logically, maybe he’s in the middle of a 26 year long drinking binge that began in the winter of ‘82.

5. Not an Exit Exit

notanexit 7 Moments in Mixed Messages

You know some guy that has nothing better to do stuck that “Exit” sign up there and is waiting on the other side for his buddies to open up the door.

Once the guy who took this picture puts his camera away and pops open to door to see which sign is being a liar, that god damn guy on the other side of the door pops out and scares shit into the camera guy’s pants, at which time he uses his advantage to punch the camera guy in the face… Very strategic and well thought out.

4. Isn’t There An Easier Way?

placepursehere 374x499 7 Moments in Mixed Messages

I guess unscrewing the hook would have been too much work. So instead the geniuses in charge of safeguarding civilians from purse-thieves decided it was more practical to order another sign that negates the prior and install it a few inches higher.

Because of course laziness is the reason why the hook remains, the aforementioned geniuses decided that five screws would suffice instead of six.

3. Chick Not Taken Seriously

chickaccuses 7 Moments in Mixed Messages

It’s not sexism Chick, they’re just making fun of you just like they would to someone named Harry Bonners. And to be fair, cutting your hair like a man is not going to get you a ride on the Equality Express, unless of course the Equality Express is headed for San Francisco’s Castro District.

2. Lose Something?

losesomething 7 Moments in Mixed Messages

If that chick would just look a little higher she’d see the number she needs to call to get those fingers back. That or she needs to get ahold of Walter…

“You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don’t wanna know about it, believe me. Hell, I can get you a toe by 3 o’clock this afternoon… with nail polish. These fucking amateurs…”

1. C’mon, Just Jump

justjump 7 Moments in Mixed Messages

Sure it’s forbidden, but c’mon, just do it…

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28 Comments

  • jocuri said:

    :)) I like the idea of this article…is quite original and entertaining. Stumbled!

  • Mia said:

    Now those are new, original and funny! :D I just stumbled upon it, its so much better than the usual recycled posts on different blogs/site that I come across while stumbling.

  • Barack Obama said:

    Nice one brother.

  • Pat said:

    Her Hair is Not cut like a mans, boys

  • Staz said:

    Actually, the woman’s name is Chick, if you read the article.

  • Jack Vermicelli said:

    “Or more logically, maybe he’s in the middle of a 26 year long drinking binge that began in the winter of ‘82.”

    Wouldn’t the middle of the binge have been about 12 years ago?

  • dumbeazz said:

    No stupid, 13 years ago.

  • baracuda68 said:

    I didn’t know that smoking makes you loose fingers!?

  • MrClean796 said:

    “Or more logically, maybe he’s in the middle of a 26 year long drinking binge that began in the winter of ‘82.”

    I think he’s in the middle of the drinking binge, which started 26 years ago. That means he’s still got 26 years to go!

  • motherfuckinmotherfuckerffuckinfuck said:

    Yea, it does. Try walking into my store someday, nigger and stealin’ cigarettes and shit offa my shelves. You’ll lose a couple fingers too.

  • Xuchilbara said:

    This was amusing until you decided to go the sexist fuckhead route. Then it failed. As do you. gb2/b/ and stay there.

  • Woot said:

    ^ How DARE he make fun of a woman in a way that implied he was making fun of her only because she’s a woman. He obviously is a complete fucking moron. >.<

    You’re worse than the people who call a Barrack Obama monkey doll or a ‘men at work’ sign racist and sexist.

  • Anna said:

    Woot: Yes, that’s exactly the definition of sexism. I’ll appreciate the day when the internet community realizes that sexist humor is not edgy or funny, it just makes you sound like archie bunker.

  • dumbeazz said:

    Anna, if you didn’t get the joke – the fact that the woman’s name is “Chick” makes the title sound sexist. The joke in itself is not sexist, but it is rather an unintentional and ironic commentary on the fact that sexism does in fact exist, but is frequently seen as insignificant.

    The fact however, that you are a woman and you failed to realize the humor in the ironic title is one of the reasons why sexism still exists – it highlights the differences between the people that are able to laugh at themselves and the self-righteous.

    If you still don’t understand, lighten up or leave the internet before you get your panties in a bunch.

  • web said:

    Dugg for: “It’s not sexism Chick, they’re just making fun of you just like they would to someone named Harry Bonners. And to be fair, cutting your hair like a man is not going to get you a ride on the Equality Express, unless of course the Equality Express is headed for San Francisco’s Castro District.”

  • Maramao said:

    Thank you. Very funny :))

  • Carrie said:

    And which picture are people talking about most? The one with the sexist joke ini t.

  • rosey said:

    wow these are so funny :) i love them
    exept the one with the missing finger :( that one was sad

  • Charlie said:

    7. Fatty knows his shirtis ironic, that’s why he’s wearing it.
    6. He’s probably homeless.
    5. In case of a fire if people ran through that door they might die. If the EXIT sign was to the left it might not be visible. Hence the need for an extra sign.
    4. Those are rivets not screws. Makes getting them out kinda tricky.

  • dumbeazz said:

    Charlie you are a retard

  • damo said:

    is it just my dirty mind or does anyoe else see on the left hand side of the pic what looks like shavin female bits

  • Chris Fryer said:

    I was on the bus the other day and looked out and saw ECONOMY HOTEL, this place down the road from my house, and the only vehicle parked in the parking lot was a big black Hummer. I wanted to take a picture of it, but had no camera. I feel like that would have been a good one for you.

  • retnuh66 said:

    LOL damo, nice catch!

  • ma ma ma mariah bitches, lol said:

    are you guys fuckin serious, talkin about sexist this sexist that, stop bein naggy old bitches and shut the fuck up ass holes, hes just having fun, fuckin cry about it

  • LittleBigPlanet in Alpha stage !! (Video) said:

    Wahahaha that’s hilerious

  • Phil E. Drifter said:

    “damo on November 12th, 2008 11:12 am” you’re right! in the first pic, the airspace above the, uh, fry frier, but it’s gotta just be an optical illusion. Very nice looking virtual pussy, tho! ps: i prefer my pussies greatly trimmed, but not barren. I don’t want to feel like I’m fucking a 6 year old.

  • obstreperous said:

    I think that might me a sister in winter gear actually. The hair-wrap over bun and breasts suggest that.

  • Beautiful said:

    #7, he isn’t talking about his wife.. You figure it out

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