Remember that movie, Beverly Hills Ninja? Chris Farley thought he was a ninja but then he realized he was an obese white guy, tried to get that sexy blond chick, but then again, realized he was an obese white guy. Well it’s not quite the same, but it’s similar in respect to ethnicity and ninja-ness in that asian people are ninjas, no one else is. So Don’t try.

• Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis & Conan O'Brien
• ...But Baseball Is Super Dangerous
• A Hot Centaur?
• Ochocinco, You're Gonna Need More Than A Washington
• It Pays To Be A MILF