On September 2, 2008 Tiger Woods announced on his website that he and wife, Elin Nordegren, are just months away from having their second child. Tiger writes on his website:
“This has been a year of contrasts, I had a solid start to the season, won the U.S. Open in an exciting playoff, and then unfortunately had to shut it down after successful knee surgery. And now, I have some wonderful news to report. Sam is going to be a big sister.”
Woods and Nordegren welcomed their first daughter Sam Alexis Woods in June 2007.
“Elin is feeling great and we are both thrilled. While my injury has been disappointing and frustrating, it has allowed me to spend a lot of time watching Sam grow. I can’t begin to tell you how rewarding it is being a dad and spending time with her and Elin. The injury has been a blessing and a disappointment.”
Tiger and Elin took the simple route and named their first child Sam. So in traditional Banned In Hollywood panache, the below are the “Baby Woods: Five Official BANNED Baby Name Suggestions.”
If Gwyneth Paltrow can name her daughter after a fruit, there’s no reason Tiger Woods shouldn’t name his next child after the clubs he hits furthest: his Metal Woods. Plus when you think about it, the kid will be a Black, Asian and Swedish alloy, if you will. It works on so many levels.
If Tiger expects this baby to accompany him on Sundays at the Majors, he better put the kids good name to use – and what better way to subconsciously think about staying in the fairway than having his newborn’s name floating through his head on the tee box: Stay Outa The Woods…
Because Tiger Wood’s annual golf tournament is held at the Sherwood Country Club in Lake Sherwood, CA it’s only fitting that his kid be named accordingly (It’s a bit of a stretch, I know). Plus life as a pro golfer means daddy isn’t around very often. So to insure his daughter not be promiscuous once she grows up, naming her after singer and American Anti-Sex Symbol, Cher, will keep the boys flaccid well into the decades beyond the singer’s impending death.
If this kid is a girl, and if this girl were my age, and if this girl that were my age looked like her mother Erin Nordegren, and if I were to represent this website as I do, my life goal would also be the name of this very site: BANNED In Holly Woods.