Britney Spears Racing Go-Karts in Anaheim

ANAHEIM – Britney Spears packed her bags, put her kids in their cages, and headed out to watch what could have been the final ALDS game between the Boston Red Sox and the Anaheim Angels.

The pop singer, who was expecting to see the LSU Tigers, arrived at Angel Stadium to closed gates where she initially realized that the game was in Boston, followed by a skeptical but eventual realization that the LSU Tigers weren’t playing in the series, both of which were trumped by her brief and frightening realization that despite popular belief, she is in fact a real, live, living but barely breathing human being.

Playing to her stereotypical redneck strengths, she opted for go-kart racing. Good choice Britney, good choice.