When I was in college my three roommates and I went to the grocery store to buy beer. While we were there we picked up a few other essentials — an 8-pack of paper towels, and for one of my roommates who had been seeing this cute brunette girl relatively regularly, a few bottles of KY Jelly (which he swears by but I’ve never tried).
Quickly this trifecta of goods called into question the sexual orientations of the four of us by both the checker who called us out, and the …

This has to be photoshopped right? Regardless, props for the camo-fishing gear and the halfway burned down smoke.

The authorities have noticed your noticing this sign and will mark your noticing noted in their notice logs.

There’s really nothing less attractive than Fergie. First she pisses her pants on stage and I give her the benefit of the doubt that the piss came from a vagina. Now this? An explicitly testicular cockgrab?
What’s next, Lady GaGa is a hermaphrodite?
Via Unstructed

So you’re just driving down the road and a horse (no, not Sarah Jessica Parker) jumps off of your windshield, crushing it, and leaps over your car. Just another day in LA…

If there were a way to quantify YouTube uploaders and rank them in descending order on a scale of quality, Steve Sutton would comfortably sit at the bottom of the list – just below Alabama native Tawnisha Jones and her canon of standard definition ass-shaking videos.
Less is more when it comes to Steve Sutton’s biography, but it helps to know the man’s key selling points, and for this we thank Something Awful for providing a thorough Q&A. It goes something like:
Q: Who do you live with?
A: My mom, …

I have no idea why anyone would film a car being towed, but we’ll take it at face value and assume that this video is legitimate. This tow truck driver gets the job done quicker than Verne Troyer at a tranny-whore-house in Tijuana.
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MSNBC reports that in an effort to make plastic dolls more interesting to children growing up in an era of video games and computers, Mattel released a line of Barbie Dolls that aim to make three-year-old girls more sexually promiscuous.
The dolls come with half-sleeves and tramp-stamps, but don’t worry mom and dad, the tattoos are removable — so if you’re unhappy with the slutty lower-back tat, move it above Barbie’s crotch for a more genuine street-whore look.
Pick up Spearmint Rhino Barbie for your three-year-old before supplies run out.

Keep your eye …

The only things I know about Oregon are that the state is above California, they get snow now and then, there’s a game about a trail up there that I used to always lose at because all I did was hunt, and they have a college who’s athletic teams are called the Beavers (should be called the Doners).
Now I know another life changing fact — their citizens dress anteaters in sweaters.