Offbeat News

In Washington State, Dasha, the only semi-attractive blonde in the state took her friend’s advice and painted “ATTN: Police Please Do Not Pull Me Over Just Because I’m Pretty” onto her car window and claims the move has been successful.

The blonde told reporters that she’d been pulled over 30 or more times because of her self-claimed good looks, but after affixing the message to the rear-window of her car a month ago, has not been pulled over since.

This is what happens when a semi-attractive woman with (or without) an accent moves to Washington – virtually the same thing happens in the To Catch A Predator pederast bait chat rooms.

A Girl! Fap, Fap Fap…

Dasha is the BubblyBabe16 of Washington State.

Check out the interview here.

While Jonathan Broxton blew yet another Dodger game last night against the St. Louis Cardinals after walking Albert Pujols, Vin Scully attempted to entertain viewers by doing a miniature segment on the shortest baseball player to ever play the game – Eddie Gaedel.

At 3′7″ and just 65 lbs, Eddie Gaedel made his first and only appearance in baseball with the St. Louis Browns on August 19, 1951 – a publicity stunt for the Falstaff Brewing Corporation.

Little Eddie adorned in elf slippers and a jersey with the number “â…›” on the back walked on four straight balls in his only Major League appearance.

For more on the life of Eddie Gaedel, head to ESPN, bur before you go, check out the Eddie Gaedel gallery below.

“The sub-species is created in midget-mills and survives off a strict diet of sugar packets and Keebler brand cookies…”

After contestants in an April episode of NBC’s Celebrity Apprentice created a detergent ad called “Jesse James and the Midgets,” miniature activists from Little People of America went to the Federal Communications Commission to ban the use of the word “midget” on broadcast TV, claiming the word is just as offensive as racial slurs.

The contestants on the show, including Joan Rivers, who believes the sub-species is created in midget-mills and survives off a strict diet of sugar packets and Keebler brand cookies suggested bathing little people in detergent and hanging them up to dry.

The Detroit Free Press reports that “calls to the FCC and Celebrity Apprentice host Donald Trump were not immediately answered today. NBC Universal representatives didn’t immediately respond to e-mail messages, and the telephone rang unanswered at their Los Angeles office.”

Until someone decides to answer their phone, we suggest using more appropriate terms such as, Pocket-Pal, Tiny-Timber, or Lenny Loompa.

Jack In The Box’s commercial midgetploitation was not deemed offensive by Little People of America because “at the end of the day, work is work. The burgers are just the right size and really are that good.”

Comics writer Mark Sable was intensively searched by the TSA (Transportation Security Administration) after they found a script in his possession about a writer who gets detained and intensively searched for writing a comic about terrorism that seems to predict real terrorist events.

Is it weird that I’m currently watching a movie about an actor who plays a POW in Vietnam and is then taken hostage in ‘Nam, for real? (Tropic Thunder, those facts about the story line might be slightly off).

“What do you mean, ‘my people’?”

“Flying from Los Angeles to New York for a signing at Jim Hanley’s Universe Wednesday (May 13th), I was flagged at the gate for ‘extra screening’. I was subjected to not one, but two invasive searches of my person and belongings. TSA agents then ‘discovered’ the script for Unthinkable #3. They sat and read the script while I stood there, without any personal items, identification or ticket, which had all been confiscated.”

“The minute I saw the faces of the agents, I knew I was in trouble. The first page of the Unthinkable script mentioned 9/11, terror plots, and the fact that the (fictional) world had become a police state. The TSA agents then proceeded to interrogate me, having a hard time understanding that a comic book could be about anything other than superheroes, let alone that anyone actually wrote scripts for comics.”

“I cooperated politely and tried to explain to them the irony of the situation. While Unthinkable blurs the line between fiction and reality, the story is based on a real-life government think tank where a writer was tasked to design worst-case terror scenarios. The fictional story of Unthinkable unfolds when the writer’s scenarios come true, and he becomes a suspect in the terrorist attacks.

“In the end, I feel my privacy is a small price to pay for educating the government about the medium.”

SF Scope via Boing Boing.

Let this be a lesson to all the fatasses who eat at McDonald’s everyday. AP Michigan reports,

“Authorities said a man faces a felony charge after allegedly spitting on a police officer’s McDonald’s breakfast sandwich. Police said a 32-year-old man was working the drive-thru window at the southwest Michigan restaurant when an unidentified officer bit into an Egg McMuffin on June 3 and immediately realized something was wrong.

A police report obtained by The Herald-Palladium said the restaurant’s assistant manager noted the sandwich contained a “stringy with mucus” substance. She placed the sandwich in the off-duty manager’s trash bin, but said it disappeared while she phoned him.

The suspect, a parolee who spent 14 years in an Indiana prison, said he has nothing against police. He’s being held in the Berrien County Jail on a $10,000 bond.”

Via YepYep

In what’s being heralded by wedding videographer Tony Salvino as “the only time no one got laid on or after a wedding — people tried, both sexes, but no one could figure out how things were supposed to work,” two young Padawans formed a rebel alliance to culminate seven years of knowing one another via preferred online dating service, Star Wars Galaxies — surprisingly no sabers were crossed.

Groom Duncan Thomson dressed as an aging and slightly overweight Han Solo and vowed to the beautiful Sammi Gardiner, “I promise to protect you from the Dark Side, through hyperspace and into the far reaches of the galaxy.”

The Sun adds, “Sammi’s meteorite ring was engraved: ‘May the 4th be with you’ — in tribute to the line: ‘May the force be with you.’ A supporting cast of 50 Jedis and Sith Lords saw Chewbacca as best man, while Darth Vader made a speech.”

Pal Matt Archer, 32 — droid C-3PO — said: “You really believed you were watching Han and Leia getting married.”

The reception was held in Duncan’s mother’s dimly lit basement where couples took part in several hours of passionate, kinky, role playing gaming.