Tara Reid: Now Stuffed With Play-Doh!
October 17, 2008
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In addition to stuffing herself with silicone, alcohol, and a laundry list of designer drugs, Tara Reid has taken the next step in what doctors are calling fatty tissue replacement surgery by injecting Hasbro cornerstone, Play-Doh, below the surface of her disgusting stomach - a similar procedure to the one she had done to her brain.
Reid is in the preliminary stages of a doughey transformation. Upon completion, she will have undergone a full-body doughover and will adhere to a regimented diet of multi-colored Play-Doh! brand hotdogs.
The Ex-Biggest Heroin Dealer In The World
October 16, 2008
INTERVIEW BY GRAHAM JOHNSON, PHOTO BY STUART GRIFFITHS
I usually don’t dedicate entire posts to other websites, but because Vice sat down with one of the world’s biggest heroin dealers in the recent history of the drug, I had to.
I’m not going to copy and paste the entire interview, which I promise you will hold your attention. But I will give you one question and answer to give you an idea of what you’re in for:
“What was the lowest point?”
“My mate robbed a rock off my table. I dragged him into the kitchen and chopped his little finger off with a knife on a chopping board. Then I flushed it down the toilet.”
And that’s just scratching the surface. So head over to Vice to catch the rest of the story, it really is a must read.
Holly Madison goes ‘Bowling for Boobies’
October 14, 2008
HOLLYWOOD - Holly Madison made an appearence at The 4th Annual ‘Bowling for Boobies’ fundraiser at the Lucky Strike Lanes on Monday.
Though the fundraiser seemed more like an event aimed at financing breast implants than battling breast cancer, Holly Madison, sophomoric jokes aside, claims it was a success commenting:
“Like, like, like, haha, like, and stuff like that.”
Holly isn’t the only Playmate to leave the 82 year old with nothing but wrinkled balls and a medicine cabinet full of Viagra. Kendra Wilkinson disbanded from the aging Heffer for Philadelphia Eagle Hank Baskett in similar fashion (more here)
But don’t feel bad for the Playboy founder who seems to have succumb to inevitability, check out the beautiful new twins that have moved into the mansion. Karissa and Kristin Shannon aren’t really hot, but at least they’re not in their mid-eighties, right? Plus maybe they’re smart… Well, no.
Like Beerpong? Like Pissing Your Pants While You Play?
October 13, 2008
Our buddies over at Poolside Pong were kind enough to hook us up with an inflatable beerpong table for testing purposes. Here’s what went down (or so we were told).
Because there was no Dodger game on Saturday, we decided it was essential that Team Banned take part in serious competitive sport, and what more competitive a sport than beer pong?
We inflated the table, which took just under a two minutes thanks to our designated inflator Danny Evans who spends most of his free time blowing, and headed to the pool.
Before the game started we were drunk, so when we asked our field correspondent and owner of Gamesrogue.com Cristopher Crosby who had been taking 151 shots all morning to photograph the event, within three minutes of starting, our Nikon D300 took a dip in what would become a pool filled with beer, drunk guy piss, and vomit from our asian friend who got the asian glow two hours too soon.
For People Who Like Porn, But Not The Sex…
October 9, 2008
Our buddies over at Spike have teamed up with the Gunn boys to bring you everything you love about pornography, minus the porn.
It’s literally just the good stuff - the sexy, juicy, erotic plot with none of the obnoxious nudity.
It’s like watching a Jackie Chan movie without the fight scenes, and what could be better than that?
Who Would You Rather Not: Renée Vs. SJP
October 9, 2008
In all fairness, both Sarah Jessica Parker and Renée Zellweger look more like barnyard animals that cluck and trot than women that any self-respecting man would call hot - After all, there is a site dedicated to Sir Jessica Parker’s resemblance to horses, conveniently called sarahjessicaparkerlookslikeahorse.com (make sure you have your volume turned up)… We’re still waiting on reneezellwegerlooksliketheguycollectingshitinmontypythonsquestfortheholygrail.com
But alas, this isn’t a competition of preferance, because it’s safe to say that no man genuinely prefers one over the other - that is unless of course, he is forced to decide between the two, which is essentially what we are doing here today.
So think of Renée and SJP as you would sheep or goat, cattle or piglets, donkeys or horses and choose the one that would be least worst. And please, do us all a favor and leave a detailed explanation as to why you chose the way you did in the Comments section below.
Nolte’s House Burns: What They Said VS What They Meant
October 8, 2008
I first caught this story on HuffPo and could have really cared more, a lot more, because I didn’t care at all - that is until I took the time to read what they took the time to report and noticed a few minor holes in their story.
Here’s what they said:
MALIBU, Calif. — Nick Nolte escaped a fire that caused an estimated $1.5 million damage to his Malibu home on Tuesday, authorities said. The 67-year-old actor scraped his arm and inhaled some smoke but was not hospitalized, Los Angeles County fire Inspector Sam Padilla said.
“He is seeing his private physician” for the injuries, he said.
Here’s what they meant:
MALIBU, Calif. — Nick Nolte escaped a high that cost an estimated $1,500 in blow on Tuesday, authorities said. The 67-year-old actor, who is frequently mistaken for similar looking C-list actor Gary Busey, cut a line on a mirror and inhaled some smoke from his two foot water pipe but was not hospitalized, Los Angeles County fire Inspector Sam Padilla said.
“He was seeing double at his private physician” Padilla said…
Huffington Post, you’re notorious for fudging the facts, but next time please don’t blow important breaking stories like this one.
