Canadian ice hockey commentator, co-host of the “Coach’s Corner” and recent ESPN Stanley Cup Playoff commentator Don Cherry uses only the most technologic piano desks to prove his most staunchly patriotic arguments.

Velvet Suit.

I want to see these guys give changing babies diapers the assembly line flair treatment.

The premise is simple, really. You wait for someone to go into another room, put tape across the doorjam at eye-level and wait for them to walk into it.

Profit.

Just when you thought there was no more hope, someone got to work and after months of research and millions of calculations created the first ever Handjob to accomodate virtually all of life’s tough to bust nuts.

What a sweet release!

Get yours here today.

Someone finally found the pigeon’s one and only purpose.

Andy Levy apologizes to hip hopper and ex Rihanna face smasher Chris Brown for retweeting Brown’s tweet “No more planking for me unless it’s on a sexy lady! Lol” with the addition of “You spelled “punching” wrong.”

Australia based Channel Seven News covered the firing of Melbourne Demons AFL coach Dean Bailey by sending reporter Amy Parks to AAMI Park.

And now for our daily link roundup:

• Amy Kicks Butt (truTV)
• Shark Steals Mans Lunch (Maxim)
• Embarassing Dunk Fails (Ranker)
• Adriana Lima Hotness (Popoholic)
• The 9 Greatest Sports Heroes (TotalProSports)
• The Greatest NBA Rivalries (BleacherReport)
• Misery Children Sculptures (WildAmmo)
• Jamie Lee Darley Hotness (TheSmokingJacket)
• April Cheyrse Hotness (RegretfulMorning)
• Bernie Kosar’s Porn Star Daughter (Brobible)
• Debt Ceiling Deal Passes? (TheDailyWhat)
• Matt Damon: Skinhead (CelebSlam)
• Lingerie Basketball League Is Awesome (Guyism)
• Aida Carabello Hotness (GorillaMask)
• Absurd Cases Of Accidental Racism (SuperBooyah)
• The Epic Robot Chicken Panel (AdultSwim)
• Lose Weight With Body Sox (IAmBored)
• Superman Set Photos Are…Unsuper (ScreenJunkies)
• Long Distance Relationships Are Mumbly (FilmDrunk)

Team white t-shirts decides to swim with the dolphins at an oceanarium in Russia which angers team black t-shirts (also known as team security… also known as the only guys getting their asses kicked and tossed into the pool) and thus a brawl ensues.

Outnumbered, the white-shirts team up and stand their ground.

Then at the 3-minute mark a velociraptor makes a cameo, screeches, exits, and more black-shirts get tossed in the pool.

When it comes to carrying shit on your head, this guy is at the top of his class — which really makes this the bukkake video of brick carrying.

In the case you can’t understand a damn word this guy is saying, here’s a wough tanscwipp:

Maybe my fish got in touch with another fish later… And oh, like, Finding Nemo and this Fish says he got hit by the car, the other fish said, “You’re joking.” and he said “Yah he got hit by the hurt… by the car, and he’s DEAD YOU SEE!” There is something like a joke, people don’t believe what you said. My fish died this morning… Why? Because…. he got hit by the caaaaaaa…