Gemma Atkinson Prefers Black Dudes, Which Sucks Because I’m White

The thing that sucks about my life is that I am white, and Gemma Atkinson likes black guys. I know, you’re saying to yourself, “come one, I doubt she’s dating this guy because he’s black, she probably likes him as a person.” Which sucks even more.

See, I know who I am as a person, and I am nothing like this guy. I don’t have a huge gaudy cross on my back to show God I have faith and that I’m a good person. Instead, like a fool, I just am a good person based on the way I act, which is stupid, because I could just draw a bigass cross on my back to do the good work for me. And on top of this, I have a full head of hair, which obviously would not interest a chick like Gemma Atkinson…

I really just need to paint my body black like Alecia Keyes (pics coming), and get so drunk that when I pass out with my shoes on, my friends will draw on me with a sharpie, and then maybe I’ll get that big cross on my back that both God and Gemma find so attractive…

More From Banned In Hollywood:

Gemma Atkinson Busts Out Of The Recession


Gemma Atkinson poses for the UK's Zoo Magazine. If producing sexy women were an Olympic event, Britain would take home the gold every...





The Great Kelly Brook Web Gallery Index


Because Kelly Brook is one of the sexiest and most popular models on the internet, we figured it would be wise to compile a massive list of all...





Oops, more Kelly Brook thanks to Alan Strutt


Alan Strutt has photographed some of the most beautiful women and the most talented actors from Los Angeles to the UK. He's done spreads for GQ,...