We understand that this is the internet, this is the twenty first century, and for most of us, this is America, so we try to use as little text as possible, filling our pages with media. However, for those brave souls that don’t mind taking the five minutes it does to read an article, check out The Onion’s latest.

Novelists Strike Fails To Affect Nation Whatsoever

LOS ANGELES—The economy has seen no adverse effects, as American consumers easily adjust to the sudden cessation of any bold new sprawling works of fiction.

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