Time does interesting things to people — for some, time does to appearance what alcohol does to most socialites’ vision — it makes ugly people beautiful, but others are less fortunate.

The aging process can be cruel, and for many people (and by many people I mean Tara Reid), the aging process can transform the most attractive woman (not Tara Reid) in the world into Sarah Jessica Parker.

Alas… Here. We. Go…

Alyssa Milano

Victoria Beckham

Little Rascal/Wal-Mart clerk

Tobey Maguire

Steve Urkel

Scarlett Johansson

Punky Brewster

Jeremy Piven/Michael Barth?

Brad Pitt

Pamela Manderson

Jerry O’Connell

Nicole Eggert

Mike Rowe

Mark Hamill

Marilyn Manson

Lindsay Lohan

Lil’ John

Leo DiCaprio

Stephanie from Full House

Karen from The Office

John Travolta

John Stewart

Michael Jackson

Ice Man

Hulk Hogan

Hayden Panettiere

Ricky Gervais

Edward Furlong

Fat Ginger from various 90’s era kid’s movies

Eric Bana

Elijah Wood

Dick Cheney

Elisha Cuthbert

Plays the ‘Creepy Dude’ in every movie he’s in

Creed from The Office

Nikki Cox (damn shame)

Stephen Colbert

Clint Eastwood

Charlie from Willy Wonka

That Guy

Roided Carrots

Bret McKenzie

Christian F_cking Bale

Angelina Jolie

Anakin Skywalker (just landed a role as ‘clerk’ in the upcoming LA based Wal-Mart)

Amy Winehouse

Carlton from Fresh Prince

Barry Balco Bonds

Tara Reid

So what does this all mean?

They ditched green and went blue after finishing in 6th place, 33 and-a-half games behind crosstown rivals the New York Giants.

And, that it’s St. Patrick’s Day and you should be out drinking in honor of a country that (historians may disagree with me) turned all their potatoes into liquor, got pants shittingly drunk for 90 days, and once all the potato vodka was consumed, suffered from a year-and-a-half long hangover called the potato famine–pretty neat.

Alyssa Milano pictured above with St. Louis Cardinal and ex Dodger Cesar Izturis.

ST LOUIS – Before the Dodgers arrived at Chavez Ravine last Thursday, they were National League West champs. And while much credit must be given to Albert Pujols and the St. Louis Cardinals (who had nothing but pride to play for) for beating the Arizona D-Bags three games out of four, they might not have been able to do it without the support of Dodger fan and MLBlogger Alyssa Milano who gave them something more to play for (a date possibly? Well, not if you look like Ron Villone).

Milano, who was in St. Louis to promote her MLB gear for women sparked the St. Louis offense in the clubhouse and in the dugout. She comments on the Dodgers success:

“We have clinched the NL West and that is glorious. Manny should be the NL MVP. We wouldn’t be where we are right now without him. And Andre Ethier had a breakout year. I am very proud of you, Andre.”

Good luck in October Dodgers. I’ll be at the Saturday and Sunday games with my birthday suit, wtf? party hat on.

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Because after all, this is Banned In Hollywood, it’s only natural that we throw a shout out to our family favorite Alyssa Milano in support of her favorite team, the Los Angeles Dodgers, despite her loyalties to the NY Mets.

If photo evidence weren’t enough, Alyssa Milano is a baseball fan through and through not just because Alyssa’s blog cogitates on baseball, nor because of her past relationships with Carl Pavano, Brad Penny and Barry Zito, or her season Dodger box tickets, but because she chose to show at Chavez Ravine with Manny dreads on head – that’s dedication, Dodger dedication. And what better way to end the week than to see the boys in blue sweep the Phil’s in four games?

Alyssa is so supportive of what the Dodgers are doing that she proposed a $10 K.M.I.L.A.F [Keep Manny In LA Fund] designed to do just that, keep Manny in LA.

Hopefully she gets this thing moving, it would be a bummer to lose Manny to Andruw Jones’ $18 Million yearly salary. Though, at that rate the Dodgers would have to pay Manny around $65 Million per year (based on Jones’ salary to performance ratio, or S2P).

Thank God Jones isn’t much of a trendsetter.

(Last 3 photos at Shea Stadium)

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