PHILADELPHIA – Despite Dodger right fielder Andre Ethier drawing five balls from Phillies starter Joe Blanton and the Dodgers going into the 9th with a one run lead, Dodger bullpen did not fail at exhibiting their unwavering dependability at blowing games when they matter most.

Home-plate umpire Jerry Layne lost track of the count and allowed Blanton an extra ball before awarding Ethier first base – an error that would prove meaningless as the game turned from unexpected to typical in the 9th inning when Jonathan Broxton blew his 6th game in just 16 opportunities.

Though Broxton was fighting for the still absent role of Dodger Closer, echos in the Chavez Ravine clubhouse sound more and more like Opener after each game the 6′4″ 290 lb Broxton leaves for the opposition’s taking.

Broxton however likes to think positive, reinforcing:

“I grew up in Augusta, GA and was a huge fan of the Master’s, I went every year. I don’t look at Sunday’s loss as a bad thing, but rather a tribute to Phil Mickelson who loses his lead every Sunday year in an year out. He got his green jacket in 2004 and again in 2006, so if I can save just two games all year, it’s been a successful year.”

Dodger insider Christopher Crosby comments:

“Since Andruw Jones‘ stint on the DL, Johnathan Broxton has assumed the role as MVP-TOT, an honor voted on every week and then awarded by skipper Joe Torre with a game ball branded with an asterisk as a tribute to Barry Bond’s record breaking homerun ball.”

The award, Most Valuable Player To Other Team, has only seen the hands of one other Dodger all season, but with the proper dedication and work ethic, GM Ned Colletti believes -

“Everyone will receive the honor at least once, that’s what we’re shooting for. We’re going to need consistency throughout the club if we want to make a serious run at beating the Colorado Rockies out of the coveted number two spot in the West.”

The Dodgers expect to lose the majority of their remaining games but hope not to fall too far behind the last place San Diego Padres who are just 20 games out of first place.

Because after all, this is Banned In Hollywood, it’s only natural that we throw a shout out to our family favorite Alyssa Milano in support of her favorite team, the Los Angeles Dodgers, despite her loyalties to the NY Mets.

If photo evidence weren’t enough, Alyssa Milano is a baseball fan through and through not just because Alyssa’s blog cogitates on baseball, nor because of her past relationships with Carl Pavano, Brad Penny and Barry Zito, or her season Dodger box tickets, but because she chose to show at Chavez Ravine with Manny dreads on head – that’s dedication, Dodger dedication. And what better way to end the week than to see the boys in blue sweep the Phil’s in four games?

Alyssa is so supportive of what the Dodgers are doing that she proposed a $10 K.M.I.L.A.F [Keep Manny In LA Fund] designed to do just that, keep Manny in LA.

Hopefully she gets this thing moving, it would be a bummer to lose Manny to Andruw Jones’ $18 Million yearly salary. Though, at that rate the Dodgers would have to pay Manny around $65 Million per year (based on Jones’ salary to performance ratio, or S2P).

Thank God Jones isn’t much of a trendsetter.

(Last 3 photos at Shea Stadium)

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In a surprise move today, Ned Colletti, GM of the Dodgers, actually made a trade that might benefit the team.

The three-way trade lands Manny Ramirez in Los Angeles, Jason Bay to Boston, and the Pirates get prospects Andy Laroche, Bryan Morris, Craig Hansen, and Brandon Moss. The BoSox also agreed to pick up $7 million of Manny’s Salary.

The only way this could get better is if Mark Sweeney retired, Andruw Jones lost 90 pounds, and Jamie McCourt blew me while I ate an endless supply of Dodger Dogs. I’ll take 2 out of 3, though.

Dodger Centerfielder and pitcher’s best friend, Andruw Jones, effectively transformed the way Dodger baseball is played just by showing up to the ballpark, overweight and with a severe case of niggaitis (we don’t make this stuff up). The Dodger Centerfielder is batting an impressively hot .365 – for strikeouts, K’ing slightly twice as often as he gets hits, but just half as often as he, weighing in at 240 lbs, heads to the concession stands for Farmer John’s own Dodger Dogs.

Jones admits, “I love home games. When I’m home, I go for the Super Dodger Dog because it’s 20% larger,” like his average, which is 20% lower than any pitcher in the National League.

Skipper Joe Torre playfully admits, “He loves those dogs, and we figure that if his batting average increases at the rate his waist line has been, the NL West pennant will be ours by mid september or next summer,” clearly the same logic Dodger mastermind Ned Colletti(and other dealmakers come, and for good reason, gone) turn to when making important trade decisions.

Nicolette Sheridan made an appearance at Chavez Ravine and Jones was all eyes (and 35% body fat). The Desperate Housewife, now not just sexually desperate, but desperate for ratings, flexed her muscles with great definition – something Jones hasn’t seen since his rookie season in 1996.

In Closing: Seems as though the Dodgers need to shoot for 40% body fat if they are to have any chance at clinching the National League West, something Jones assures “will not be a problem.”

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