Posts Tagged ‘Anna Kournikova’

Earlier today we learned from Total Pro Sports that Simona Halep wants to and likely will go under the knife for breast reduction surgery later this year.

The seventeen-year-old (keep your pants on guys, she’s almost 18) tennis phenom was born 9.27.1991 in ConstanÅ£a, Romania and has turned heads in the tennis world for both her Anna Kournikova-esque talents and for her massive, but soon-to-vanish chest-hams.

Simona Halep tells Pro Sports (poorly translated to English) –

“I do not believe that physical appearance has an effect on performance, so I help with anything in the sport. My mind bust when I go on the field and even if I were sporting, I would have felt very good.

(My Breasts) inconvenience me, it’s very hard with them. It’s a weight in addition to confound me speed response. I can not go on very well. Shoot me down. Nothing in life is not like me even though sport was not all I was doing surgery.

Surgical intervention should take place last year, but probably will use it in autumn, because the postponement might cause problems in the column.”

Not sure what that last line is supposed to mean, but regardless, I say Simona is making a big mistake. Think about it — if Anna Kournikova’s ass got fat she’d be out of work (posing for Maxim).

Simona better hope she matures into a more talented tennis player because no one is going to want to see a Romanian flat-chest on the cover of men’s magazines.

While she may consider herself a tennis player, everyone knows the only thing she’s good at is standing as still as she possibly can in front of cameras, preferably wearing as little clothing as possible.

I have a few lady friends who are to intellect, what Anna Kournikova is to tennis. Most of them gave up on thinking for a few years, but have just recently started reading (mostly Matt Christopher books, The Kid Who Only Hit Homers etc…). Problem is, they’re not quote as attractive as Anna, so the pictures they take of themselves at parties don’t end up on the cover of Sports Illustrated, they end up on Facebook.

Anna Kournikova poses for the 2009 K-Swiss ad campaign. Despite the struggling economy, the shoemaker is willing to dish out big bucks for the model tennis player–we won’t complain.

You wouldn’t want this to be a legitimate story that you’d have to read, which is why we’ve decided to keep it simple and just show you the pictures below.

More to come.

Q&A with Bianca Beauchamp – FListed
How to get Ghonorrhea – Atom
Win a Kyle Busch Nascar fanpack! – TheBachelorGuy
This year in beer – Sloshspot
Stacy Keibler in Maxim – NewsToob
Celeb sex tape guide – CelebrityExaminer

Nerd tattoos – AfroJacks
Andrea Felldin – Monday morning pick me up – TastyBooze
Top 10 hottest top 10 lists – Uncoached
15 Madden glitches caught on video – on205th
Red Sox fan tasered in Tampa – BustedCoverage

Erin Andrews’ skirt can’t get any higher – Busted Coverage
All hail the bikini calendar – On 205th
Jodie Marsh busting out all over the place – Camel Tap
Salma Hayek ginourmous cleavage on TV – DJ Mick
Backing up is hard to do – Don Chavez
When awkward happens: Masturbation – Tasty Booze
Just another reason to miss college – Uncoached

These shirts are pretty damn funny – Better Than Pants
Top 5 post-apocalyptic moments – YepYep
The Palin porn has been cast – Blog of Hilarity
A-Rod and Madge reunite. Tom Brady is jealous. – Derober
Strip Monopoly anyone? – BBI
SEC power poll – Loser with Socks
7 things rappers can talk about in the recession – Comedy

Although she’s no longer actively on the court, Anna Kournikova is in amazing shape at Sunday’s Nautica Malibu Triathlon at Zuma Beach in Malibu. The day, which was cold, proved hard to get through for most celebs – especially Jennifer Lopez.

Anna really needs to get back on the court, because she’s the only reason I would ever watch woman’s tennis on TV. Actually, maybe it’s better she sticks to modeling – But regardless, I can’t take Serena any longer.