CRANSTON, R.I. — Late Monday night, Jeffrey Johnson of Pawtucket fumed when Deputy Police Chief Paul J. Kennedy hit his brakes to let a kitten cross the road in front of him.

Johnson layed on his horn and tailgated Kennedy until he eventually pulled over a few hundred yards up the road.

When he approached Chief Kennedy car, Johnson identified himself as an off duty police officer and then punched the chief in the face. Kennedy defended himself and the two began brawling in the Cranston street.

Eventually backup arrived and humiliated Johnson who was arrested and charged Tuesday with simple assault, impersonating a police officer and disorderly conduct.

He was released from jail after posting a $300 bond.

At 6pm on Saturday, February 14, millions of couples around the world obligatorily celebrated their relationship by going out to expensive dinners and buying diamond encrusted platinum pendants for loved ones to wear a few times a year–men were stressed, and women were disappointed.

Several hours earlier, Pittsburgh Steelers’ kicker Jeff Reed was fighting a towel dispenser at a Sheetz convenience store in New Alexandria, a small town 35 miles east of Pittsburgh, because the (usually very understanding) dispenser refused him a towel, forcing him to dry his hands on his pants.

Trooper Shawn Askins, who charged reed with disorderly conduct and criminal mischief, each carrying a maximum fine of $300 and 90 days in jail per offense, says “Reed caused damage to a towel dispenser as he was infuriated at the fact that there were no towels in it,” and continued to clarify that Reed threw a temper tantrum in the restroom, broke the towel dispenser, and cussed at an employee while on his way out.

More information is being gathered.

Reed makes 83% of field goals (162 of 196) and has scored 733 points for the Steelers in his career–what he does off the field is much less impressive.

NORTH CAROLINA – PGA drinker and sometimes golfer Jon Daly was arrested after KO’ing in front of a Winston-Salem, NC Hooters after a 30 year drinking binge on Sunday.

Police said in a statement Wednesday that officers left for the restaurant on a medical call. When they arrived, Daly was being treated by emergency workers after losing consciousness.

While at the restaurant, police said Daly “appeared extremely intoxicated and uncooperative,” refused repeatedly to be taken to the hospital and was asked to leave by restaurant employees because the drunk and overweight Hooters regular was defaming the establishment’s reputation which caters mostly to families with small children.

The athlete, who has been suspected of steroid use due in large part to his perfectly toned and athletic body, was taken into police custody for a 24 hour detox lockup at Forsyth County Enforcement Detention Center.

For Daly, who has gone to rehab for alcohol addiction and abuse three times, this was just a typical Sunday (he usually doesn’t make the cut).

In March 2008, swing coach Butch Harmon quit working with the pro drinker/golfer after Daly spent a 2-1/2 hour rain delay getting bombed in the Hooters corporate tent at the PODS Championship. Disgusted, Harmon told a reporter:

“My whole goal for him was he’s got to show me golf is the most important thing in his life.  The most important thing in Daly’s life is getting drunk.”

It’s sad, but at the same time, if he wasn’t a raging drunk we wouldn’t get to see him tee off on a beer can during a Pro-Am tournament like we can below.

7. Ricky Williams

The Clean: NFL running back Ricky Willaims was arrested Feb. 21, 2000, for failing to sign a minor traffic ticket. Williams, driving his 1999 Hummer swerved the $80,000 truck from the far right lane to the far left lane without signaling, disrupting traffic on a three-lane street in Austin, Texas.

The Dirty: His mugshot revealed that he was as stoned as a witch in Salem, which addresses three things: why he wouldn’t sign the ticket, why there was a bucket of all dark meat KFC chicken wings in his lap (why he was swerving), and why he decided to “quit” the NFL temporarily… Brotha gotta get high.

6. Tony “Wild Turkey” LaRussa

The Clean: St. Louis Cardinal skipper, Tony LaRussa was arrested by Jupiter, Florida police in March 2007 and was charged with drunk driving. He was found slumped over the wheel at an intersection.

The Dirty: His notoriously red face isn’t a chameleon adaptation onset by wearing Cardinal red. Lay off the sauce LaRussa.