This is not a definitive list, just the top 5 sports books that I believe would be the shortest sports books in the history of sports books. And I am right.

5. Times I Didn’t Cry In A Press Conference by Brett Bavre

4. Things I’ll Be Remembered For by Bill Buckner

3. Great Asians In Sports by John Rocker

“The biggest thing I don’t like about New York are the foreigners. You can walk an entire block in Times Square and not hear anybody speaking English. Asians and Koreans and Vietnamese and Indians and Russians and Spanish people and everything up there. How the hell did they get in this country?“

- John Rocker

2. Haw-Kee by Anonymous Black Guy

1. Everybody Clap Your Hands by Jim Abbott

Bonus Book: If you’re into long novels, here’s one that might take you longer to get through than Alexander Dumas’ The Count of Monte Cristo. It’s an epic that spans over 600 pages called Getting Your Ass Hammered By Guys and is written by Philadelphia’s own Matt Stairs:

Referenced here

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I understand that baseball teams like to celebrate post-season victories, especially when playing on the road, but jesus christ, please don’t interview the guy that just got ass hammered by the entire dugout during the post-game press conference.