Posts Tagged ‘baby’

People always make it seem like raising a kid is the most difficult thing in the world (at least the ones who actually care about who their children become), and I’m not saying that this young mother agrees with that statement, because, well, how difficult can duct-taping your kid to the wall when you need a sitter really be?

What I am saying is that teaching your little Jenny life lessons, like how to be strong, upstanding and virtuous is much easier when you choose not to show baby Jenny double-penetration, ass-to-mouth, interracial gang-bang porn at the bi-annual family get-together no matter how upset it makes Hector (who by the way is totally hiding his boner with his left arm).

Writings on a bathroom stall {The World of Isaac}
Ashley Dupre’s 15 seconds goes into overtime (Epic Carnival)
The Destined Dozen : Television Stars Destined for Greater Things (Gunaxin)
Heidi and Spencer invite Us Weekly but not their parents to their secret wedding (Gravy and Biscuits)
Tila Tequila showing off solid middle cleavage (Celebridiot)
Maria Sharapova pulls off the slutty Vogue shoot like a pro (Bright Black Internet)

Megan Fox looks unbelievable at GQ’s ‘Men of the Year’ party (Observation Bubble)
Karolina Kurkova Named Sexiest Woman (MoonDog Sports)
Hot Tranny Tuesday: Single Ladies Version (AfroJacks) -
Be the talk of Facebook (for something besides your drunk pictures) (9 to Fried)
Pictures Of The Airbus A380’s Ridiculous First Class Section  (YepYep)
Penthouse Pet Cali Taylor (The Bachelor Guy)

Even though her stomach is no longer as obtuse as her face, Minnie Driver is happy to welcome her bastard child Henry Story Driver into the world because:

“Babies are endlessly fascinating to look at” (people).

The 38 year old actress seems to have it all figured out – raising the child will be just like looking at a cute baby calendar… a cute baby calendar that sucks on your nipples and drops deuces on your lap.

The Brit feels confident that raising Story Driver as a single mother will not be an issue, as she states about the father:

“I’m not getting married to this person and I don’t know what’s going to happen but everyone is cool about the situation.”

Even though she has no clue what will happen, there’s no need to lose sleep (even if her baby is crying) for the following reasons:

1. Because everyone is cool about it.
2. Because babies are fun to look at.

Editor’s thoughts: Note to self, buy condoms/no dumb chicks.

On September 2, 2008 Tiger Woods announced on his website that he and wife, Elin Nordegren, are just months away from having their second child. Tiger writes on his website:

“This has been a year of contrasts, I had a solid start to the season, won the U.S. Open in an exciting playoff, and then unfortunately had to shut it down after successful knee surgery. And now, I have some wonderful news to report. Sam is going to be a big sister.”

Woods and Nordegren welcomed their first daughter Sam Alexis Woods in June 2007.

“Elin is feeling great and we are both thrilled. While my injury has been disappointing and frustrating, it has allowed me to spend a lot of time watching Sam grow. I can’t begin to tell you how rewarding it is being a dad and spending time with her and Elin. The injury has been a blessing and a disappointment.”

Tiger and Elin took the simple route and named their first child Sam. So in traditional Banned In Hollywood panache, the below are the “Baby Woods: Five Official BANNED Baby Name Suggestions.”

A while back we came across a Digg post entitled “A Stripper And A Baby.” And with a little searching, a little luck, and a desire to find something better than just one stripper and a baby – Banned In Hollywood unearthed “A Baby And 2 Strippers.”

Because two is always better than one (unless we’re talking about the herpes simplex virus), this picture takes the throne over the aforementioned because with two strippers, there are twice the taboobs (boobs in a taboo situation)… which is what you want.