Any chance the Los Angeles Dodgers can get a few cheerleaders to distract me from facing the reality that they’ll never make another World Series?

They could get some fat local Latina women and call ‘um the Dodger Dogs.

Brilliant.

At 3′7″ and just 65 lbs, Eddie Gaedel made his first and only appearance in baseball with the St. Louis Browns on August 19, 1951 – a publicity stunt for the Falstaff Brewing Corporation.

Little Eddie adorned in elf slippers and a jersey with the number “â…›” on the back walked on four straight balls in his only Major League appearance.

For more on the life of Eddie Gaedel, head to ESPN, bur before you go, check out the Eddie Gaedel gallery below.

Last week I showed what happens when pitchers get angry and throw at batters in the pictorial 10 Great Baseball Beanings. Then just days later, 3 MLB players were hit in the head, including Dodger starting pitcher Hiroki Kuroda who took a line drive off the temple.

This week I’ve decided (mostly because I now believe I have agency over MLB hit-batters, and I love watching brawls) to explain what happens after the beanings (in pictorial form, because I know you don’t feel like reading).

Not surprisingly, there are plenty of Red Sox to go around, so naturally I’ll begin with the classic Pedro v. Don Zimmer.

Enjoy.

Who ever said baseball isn’t a contact sport?

Baseball is unlike almost every other professional sport in that one player can use the ball as a weapon to intentionally injure another player. You don’t see Kobe throwing basketballs in the face of Labron James and you won’t see Eli Manning launching footballs into the masks of Patriot linemen – it doesn’t have the same effect.

Baseball on the other hand is played by an ethical code unique to the game – a code that says ‘throw at my guy, I throw at your guy’. Usually this means that if a player on one team is hit by a pitch, they will throw at a batter on the other team – usually that team’s best hitter – in order to even the playing field and to make a statement.

Of course some batters are hit unintentionally, and some are dealt chin-music with the intent to seriously injure. But intent aside, these are the 10 Great Baseball Beanings Caught At Just The Right Moment (well, a few aren’t really beanings but I couldn’t justify omitting them).

Saaaaaawing and a… cockshot.

For today’s Major League Baseball player, steroids offer more than just the muscle strength and mass that most casual MLB followers notice bulging through the jerseys of Jason Giambi and Mark McGwire.

Pitchers use steroids to lubricate their tendons, allowing them to pitch more frequently and throw harder on fewer days rest. Catchers may do the same to save their knees – just ask Paul Lo Duca or Ivan Rodriguez.

But this list of 10 MLB Roid Monkeys is not intended to shed light on the guys who slip under the radar because their biceps aren’t as big as honeydew melon – instead, this list is meant to show just how big some power-hitters can unnaturally become.

For a complete list of MLB players implicated, admitted, and suspended check out the steroid era.

Click Here For The Bonus Celebrity D-Bag Roid-Monkey!

The guys over at Co-Ed Magazine Put together an MLB All-Roid-All-Star Team comprised of your every childhood idol turned roid-monkey. While the list is thorough (despite lacking Eric Gagne as closer) we would have liked to see Mark McGuire at 1B instead of Raffe Palms.

Additionally, we would have opened up a spot on the roster for Trenidad Hubbard and called his position something like — The clean out the god damn clubhouse for roiding and only hitting 16 home-runs over 10-seasons guy.

To see the complete lineup, head over to Co-Ed Magazine.

And don’t look A-Roid in the eyes — he’s got herpes.

Many people will disagree with my belief that she looks like a little bodybuilder (in a Shawn Johnson sort of way), but Hayden Panettiere prefers baseball over getting roided.

These photos raise questions like a) does anyone care whatsoever, and b) if people do care whatsoever, should people who don’t care whatsoever care about the people who do care?

I think the answer is no, so you might as well click this and move along–semi-nsfw warning.