Quarterback Brett Favre has informed Minnesota Vikings officials that he will remain retired, according to The Star Tribune.

Coach Brad Childress confirmed the news to the Star Tribune, leaving the Vikings in an unexpected and awkward spot with training camp set to open Wednesday. The Vikings are now left to choose between Tarvaris Jackson and Sage Rosenfels as their 2009 starter.

“I just think it was a rare opportunity to explore a Hall of Fame quarterback who had background in the NFC and in this division,” Childress said to the newspaper. “He knows our system inside out … This doesn’t change anything about how I feel about our football team.”

What can we expect now? A second re-re-return to the NFL in 2009 after announcing he’s staying retired? Probably. And if not, at least one more tear-filled press conference.

I used to love Favre, but after all this flip-flopping heartbreak BS, I’m glad he didn’t get Cameron Diaz in There’s Something About Mary.

Speaking of Brett Favre sobbing, head on over to the Official Brett Favre Sob-Sister Gallery.

However, after hearing Favre speak on issue, we recognized the sincerity in his tone–it wasn’t interpolated with whimpers or embellished with occasional sob-sister sniffles like usual.

He appears to be speaking the truth–though after the way his stint with the Jets unraveled, he should have made last year’s retirement speech the truth.

All things considered, Brett, you’ve had a hell of a career. Tonight is Wednesday night, which is pretty much like Thursday, which is pretty much like Friday, so I’ll raise a glass in honor of your retirement from coming out of retirement from the NFL.

And for those of you who were wishing he would dispel many tears like he did a year ago, we’ve provided what we like to call, The Unfortunately Difinitive Brett Favre Sob-Sister Gallery.

This is not a definitive list, just the top 5 sports books that I believe would be the shortest sports books in the history of sports books. And I am right.

5. Times I Didn’t Cry In A Press Conference by Brett Bavre

4. Things I’ll Be Remembered For by Bill Buckner

3. Great Asians In Sports by John Rocker

“The biggest thing I don’t like about New York are the foreigners. You can walk an entire block in Times Square and not hear anybody speaking English. Asians and Koreans and Vietnamese and Indians and Russians and Spanish people and everything up there. How the hell did they get in this country?“

- John Rocker

2. Haw-Kee by Anonymous Black Guy

1. Everybody Clap Your Hands by Jim Abbott

Bonus Book: If you’re into long novels, here’s one that might take you longer to get through than Alexander Dumas’ The Count of Monte Cristo. It’s an epic that spans over 600 pages called Getting Your Ass Hammered By Guys and is written by Philadelphia’s own Matt Stairs:

Referenced here

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