Posts Tagged ‘China’

Leryn Franco competed for Paraguay at the 2008 Beijing Olympics, tossing her javelin 15 meters shy of her personal record to finish 51st overall. Thoroughly embarrassed, but sexy nonetheless, Leryn Franco flew home to Paraguay and shot a gold medal winning swimsuit calendar.

In 2009 her luck failed again–Leryn Franco placed 86th in AskMen’s Top 99 Women poll. We suspect voter fraud kept her out of the Top 10 (mostly because Anne Hathaway, who has a unibrow, placed 5th!?)

Have you ever woke in the morning to realize that for months you have been secretly working without pay as the spokesmodel for a China based condom company?

No?

Mena Suvari and Kelly Brook have.

A Chinese condom company is using photographs of the British model and Hollywood actress to erect the struggling company in the midst of a flaccid contraception market–without paying the women their deserved royalties–pretty surprising for a Chinese company.

Not so surprisingly, the Kelly Brook condoms are outperforming the Suvari prophylactics at an exponential rate.

What does this all mean?

Chinese males have material to masturbate to when their unused, dusty, Kelly Brook condoms reach their expiration date.

Universal City Walk has water fountains that kids run through with their friends, trying not to get hit by the jets of water that eject through small holes in the ground. It’s fun for the kids–but for Yang, a 19 year-old college student–fun can’t explain her experience in August of 2007.

Yang was at the town square in the Henan Province of China watching the musical fountain show with some friends, dancing around the light bursts of water and enjoying herself when from below her a jet erupted, projecting her above the heads of her friends.

When she landed, Yang was bleeding profusely and her energy succumbed to extreme stomach pains–her friends called for help and she was immediately taken to the hospital for treatment. The doctor explained that her vagina had been torn and her intestines had been damaged by the pressure of the water fountain–damage that would take three surgeries over a seven month span to correct.

Though her scars will be with her for life, she believes suing for $24,500 will help reconcile her poor decision making.

(News Source)

BEIJING — Despite relentless questions regarding the eligibility of the Chinese toddler gymnastics team that won the gold medal for women, the International Olympic Committee said Friday that further proof is needed for the case to continue, less it will be “put to rest.”

China has again provided documents from the 2004 team for the 2008 team, proving their eligibility. Coach Lu Shanzhen said the girls’ families are “indignant” that these issues, like most of their freedoms, won’t get swept under the carpet.

Even though their names sound Eastern European, or in the case of Shawn Johnson, Celtic (the Boston kind) – this trifecta is actually the cornerstone of Team USA’s female artistic gymnastic discipline.

Coming in at under 5′2″, The trio is a perfect fit in China – Less their gender, we all know how the Chinese people (government) cherish their baby girls.

Shawn Johnson

Date of birth: January 19, 1992 (age 16)
Place of birth: West Des Moines, Iowa
Height: 4′9″

Keep your pants on guys, she’s only 16.