Phase 1: Baby Boomers

When: Initial celebrity status following her hit single Genie In A Bottle up until just after Moulin Rouge. Needs work.
Size: B Cup, Aka Pointers.

Phase 2: Sleeping Tumors

When: Her clean, good girl, classic, Marilyn Monroe stage: Not dirty enough, and not big enough…
Size: Small D, aka, Sweet Potatoes

Phase 3: Explosive Ballooners

When: Most recent phase and most preferred stage.
Size: Gigante, aka, Shamu Flappers, Milk Bags, Chest Hams, Block Busters, Balloons, Water Bottles, Watermelons, Under Chinners, Mail Bags, Mammaries, Milking Gourds, Bouncing Buddhas, Sweater Stretchers, Congo Bongos etc…

Ah yes, celebrity. The only place in the world where people who can afford expensive meals get them free of charge. Adoring fans mob you with requests for autographs, pictures, and to bear your children. Luckily, these celebrities didn’t get where they were without having common sense. Wait, that’s not right. They’re spoiled asshats who name their kids sh-t like Uranus, all but guaranteeing they get their ass kicked before Kindergarten. Without further ado, Banned In Hollywood presents “Celebrity Baby or Dog’s Name?” Answers revealed after the pictures.

Piper

Answer: Baby name. Gillian Anderson named her kid Piper Maru, after the title of the fifteenth episode of “X-Files.” Yes, you read that correctly. She named her kid after a show about investigating aliens, which leads me to believe that Chris Carter jokingly told her that he would write another X-Files screenplay if she’d name her kid something ridiculous. Who’s got the last laugh now, Chris?

Chloe

Answer: Dog. Lindsay Lohan’s to be exact. Although she strikes me as more of a cat owner (something about exiting cars sans panties, ya dig?). Luckily, Rachel Weisz didn’t name her kid anything crazy, although Henry Chance is a bit pretentious. There’s a chance (oh!) that he’ll grow up normal. Then you realize that his dad is Darren Aronofsky, who wrote Requiem for a Dream, and you know that kid’s going to be f-cked up.

Some of the below sites contain mature content. We do not host adult content at Banned In Hollywood, but if you are not of the legal age to view such content in your territory, please do not click on any of the below links.

Thanks.

Abigail Clancy – DAMN!
Angelina Jolie – Topless in France
Ashley Dupre – She’s really a ho fo sho.
Ashley Alexandra Dupre – Topless
Audrina Patridge – Showing off her panties!
Audrina Patridge – Posing Naked!
Audrina Patridge – Or Hot and nude!
Audrina Patridge - Newest Nude Shoot!
Angelina Jolie – Changing Topless
Aubrey O’Day – See though
Beyonce Knowles – On Stage Nip Slip!
Britney Spears – No Bra!
Britney Spears – Put away you vag please
Britney Spears – We’re begging you…
Britney Spears – Now this is just getting old.
Britney Spears – Not Again
Britney Spears – Ok, Now You’re Just Not Trying
Britney Spears – OK, One more time…
Britney Spears – Nipple peeking out at Grammys
Britney Spears – Flashes a Nipple and a Boob!
Cameron Diaz – Nude Shots (click images to reveal)
Carmen Electra – Good N’ Neked
Christina Aguilera – Try wearing some underwear next time
Christina Ricci – Is not hot
Cindy Crawford – Topless
Claire Danes – Nip Slip
Demi Moore – Nipple slip see through
Emma Watson – Upskirt
Eva Mendes – Italian Vogue
Gisele Bundchen – See through
Gisele Bundchen – Topless and Nip Slips
Gisele Bundchen – Sexy and Naked!
Gisele Bundchen – Nude
Hayden Panettiere – Birthday Bikini Nip Slip
Halle Berry – Nipple/Breast slip from her new film
Halle Berry – Titty Twister?
Heidi Klum – Completely Topless!
Janet Jackson – What’s on your nippy?
Janet Jackson – or E.T?
Jennifer Garner – Is hot.
Jessica Alba – Not Naked, But Not Bad
Jessica Alba – Is see through!
Jessica Biel – Legs for days, @ss for weeks!
Jessica Gomes – Topless for GQ
Jessica Simpson – Boob Out!
Jessica Simpson – Almost…
Jessica Simpson – Breast Inspection
Jodie marsh – Nipple busting out
Julianne Moore – Vogue Paris
Kate Moss – Little tiny Nipples outside
Keeley Hazell – Huge And Topless!
Keeley Hazell – Topless In Hollywood
Kelly Brook – Topless at the beach
Kim Kardashian – Big Booty
Kimberly Walsh – Gotta watch out for the side nippy.
Kristin Davis - Sexage Tape Pics
Madonna – Nipples
Karolina Kurkova – No Shirt
Kate Moss – See Through
Katie Holmes – Barely a Nip Slip
Lilly Allen – Tan Boob Nip Slip
Lilly Allen – Put that thing away..
Lindsay Lohan – SEX TAPE
Lindsay Lohan – See through
Lindsay Lohan – Firecrotch
Lindsay Lohan – Beach Boobage
Lindsay Lohan – Now that’s just disgusting
Lindsay Lohan – Chest Hams
Lucy Pinder – Topless
Marcia Cross – Put some clothes on your wrinkled body.
Marian Carey – Photoshoot Nip Slip
Mariah Carey – Don’t know how to call this one
Marisa Miller - Bikini nip slip!
Marisa Tomei – Nude Vids
Megan Fox – Nip Slip!
Megan Fox – No Top!
Mischa Barton – Make sure to wear the whole shirt next time
Mischa Barton – Oldschool Boobs
Mischa Barton – Let’s it slip through the shirt
Mischa Barton – Closing The Ring
Natalie Portman – Bare
Natalie Portman – At Hotel
Neve Campbell – Floppers
Nicolette Sheridan – Nip Slip
Nicolette Sheridan – Is it that tough to keep a bikini on?
Olivia Munn – Pulls a breast out on TV!
Pam Anderson – run-a-way-nipple
Paris Hilton – See through
Paris Hilton – Put that thing away!
Paris Hilton – Surfing Nip
Rebecca Gayheart – Knows what she’s getting into…
Rebecca Gayheart – Topless
Rihanna – See through nipples!
Rihanna – See through Nip Slip
Sharon Stone – Topless
Sienna Miller – Topless!
Sienna Miller – Needs a bikini, not duct tape
Sienna Miller – Again!
Sienna Miller – And Again…
Sienna Miller – Beach Topless
Sienna Miller – Topless
Sophie Monk – No bra and hard nips
Tiffani Amber Thiessen – Looks good to me
Tila Tequila – See through
Uma Thurman – This is what happens when you buy the see through dress
Vanessa Minnillo – Not Too Cute
Victoria Beckham – Nippleage
Whitney Port – Nipple Slip in a bikini
Whitney Port – Nip Slip
Winona Ryder – Nude