I’ve been hesitant to write anything related to Tiger Woods and his recent affair(s) because the whole situation has overtaken just about everything newsworthy and really needs to end.
That said, it’s nice to see that Elin Nordegren (and her divorce attorney) isn’t the only one cashing in on the whole ordeal.
I might need to pick me up a few of these headcovers…

Have you ever woke in the morning to realize that for months you have been secretly working without pay as the spokesmodel for a China based condom company?
No?
Mena Suvari and Kelly Brook have.
A Chinese condom company is using photographs of the British model and Hollywood actress to erect the struggling company in the midst of a flaccid contraception market–without paying the women their deserved royalties–pretty surprising for a Chinese company.
Not so surprisingly, the Kelly Brook condoms are outperforming the Suvari prophylactics at an exponential rate.
What does this all mean?
Chinese males …

I don’t understand why she (that is a girl right?) didn’t do the consistent thing and stick to just one case: upper or lower. Also, that last “W” needs some work, Politcans could use an “I”, and finally that your, well, come on.
I’ve seen bums at the onramp of Wilshire Blvd with signs more legible than this.
And lady, if your boyfriend’s condoms break as frequently as our government fu©ks us in the ass, you might want to get yourself a new brand, unless of course you don’t mind people thinking …

Like most people, I lack basic motor skills when I’ve had too much to drink. This might include anything from walking, opening a door, or in this case, putting on a condom.
After it had been established in my brain that I was going to be having sex, the first step was to reach for the condoms. While I may be drunk, my animal-like mind does not like the prospects of having children or herpes.
Without further ado, I present the pictorial progression of last night’s attempt to have safe sex.
I decide …