We were not paid for any of the below endorsements. However, if said companies would like to contribute to our early onset of cirrhosis, we’d be more than happy to accept.

5. N-ice Rack

Nothing kills a beer pong game faster than warm beer or a case of herpes. The good news is that one of the aforementioned has been cured by the fine people at P&P Imports. The N-Ice rack provides your beer cups with a safe, frozen home with perfect alignment. Which is great because by the time we’ve played our 9th game, we’d be better off letting Muhammad Ali steady our rack.

Price: 19.95**

4. Guitar Hero

Satellite television and flat screen panels have become the norm on game day, so it’s no surprise we want to get our rock on. Nothing makes me happier than the thought of playing Guitar Hero while the unforunate population must tolerate Lee Corso’s pencil jabbing and pandering to the home crowd on College Game Day.

Price: 90.00

3. Quaffers

I know most might hesistate when we suggest you drink from something that sounds like a female bodily function, but hear us out. This probably one of the easiest ways to take a shot with a chaser. And for those who refuse to take a chaser, it doubles as a nice tool to do bombs, of the Jäger, Sake, and Irish car variety. Simply put the chaser on the bottom of the hourglass-like shot, layer the alcohol on top, and let the laws of density and gravity run their course.

Price: Varies (but cheaper than your swill beer)

2. Presto ProFry Deep Fryer

You could always pregame without wings, but why would you want to? Besides, your arteries would never get the proper attention if they didn’t clog once in a while. For dessert, deep fried Twinkies. And they said Americans were obese…

Price: 55.00

1. Cruzin Cooler

Bl(each) sold separately.

Ok, we’re not gonna lie. We have no purpose for this other than to test the ever-so-blurred lines of DUI law. This makes going on a beer run much more fun, though. And although the website looks like it was designed in 1998, we can’t really blamed the Texas-based company. Everything in Texas is bigger, which apparently means MS Paint graphics and font size.

Price: 150.00-500.00

** All prices are in United States Dollars, unless you would prefer to pay with a more valuable currency such as the the Euro, the Canadien Dollar, or in three months, the Peso.