Posts Tagged ‘Exercise’

When your job is sitting around making lists about stupid things that stupid people do in between rounds of golf at The Riv and LA Country Club (if they’ll let me back), I catch ads on TV that no one should ever see. There are more, but these are three of them – well two, and one for old time’s sake.

3. The Ab Lounge

Ab Lounge: An ab workout that’s like sedentary reclining.

There’s nothing that says washboard abs like a Lay-Z-Boy recliner equipped with a 6-pack cooler and a receptacle so you can get drunk, $hit, and watch the game without having to get up and do anything at all.

Target Demographic: The think tank at Ab Lounge took all the benefits of doing nothing and put it in an ab workout. For the first time, people who want an intense ab workout can get one by not doing their favorite thing not to do – anything. And if people try not to try hard enough, they just might be able to get that 6-pack they’ve always wanted, from the cooler in their Lay-Z-Boy, so long as they manage to roll themselves out of their Ab Lounge.

Why it makes you fatter: The only way you get a workout is by doing the work. You bought the Ab Lounge because you don’t like to do work. Transitively, you won’t do work in your Ab Lounge because you bought it primarily for the latter half if its name. Now you have two recliners, and consequently, you’re starting to look like Mo’Nique.