Posts Tagged ‘fat people’

If there was ever a sign that you are giving up on life, it’s not that you’re so morbidly obese that you are 38 and you scoot around on the same type of scooter my 84 year-old grandfather turned to after his cane gave way to a walker – his walker ultimately not enough support for his degenerating body.

At 82 he turned to a scooter, and only because a doctor recommended it after his arthritis became so bad that after a day on his feet, his knees would swell up the size of a cantaloupe – or in morbidly obese terms – the size of a small order of fries.

But still, the fact that your fat ass sits on one of these vehicles instead of walking through Wal-Mart is not the sign that you gave up on life, no. The real sign you gave up on life is that you’re sitting on a scooter in the drive-thru line at the local KFC – the same fast food joint that put you in your scooter in the first place.

Ricky Gervais would agree with me, and as always, is more articulate than I am which he makes apparent in this excellent video.

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LONDON–If you don’t know who Ricky Gervais is, this is probably the first time you’ve visited Banned In Hollywood. If you do know who he is, then you know that challenging his humor and his logic is a futile task.

Telegraph.co.uk did just that.

In his new audiobook appropriately titled The Ricky Gervais Guide To Medicine–the 47 year old comedian calls morbidly obese people who turn to surgery instead of a proper diet, “lazy fucking fat pigs.”

“I really don’t know why a doctor under a hippocratic oath takes the risk of something going badly wrong, sometimes with general anaesthetic, because someone can’t be bothered to go for a fucking run.”

“They have bits sliced off and tied up and sucked out. I want to say to them, ‘You lazy fucking fat pig. Just go for a run and stop eating burgers. You might fucking die’.

“Some things are not worth the risk. When someone’s facial surgery goes wrong because they wanted plumper lips or a little nose, I think they’re a fucking idiot.”

“If your arse is too fucking fat, stop eating and go for a run.”

In response to the heat he received for the previous, Gervais writes the most funny thing I’m sure I’ll read all year–a response to those who object:

I heard someone on the radio once say that they were tired of the prejudice aimed at the overweight. They said something like “you’re not allowed to make fun of gay people, so why are you allowed to make fun of fat people? It’s the same thing.”

It’s not the same thing though, is it? Gay people are born that way. They didn’t work at becoming gay. Fat people became fat because they would rather be that way than stop eating so much. They had to eat and eat to get fat. Then, when they were fat they had to keep up the eating to stay fat. For gayness to be the same as fatness, gay people would have to start off straight but then ween themselves onto cock. Soon they’re noshing all day getting gayer and gayer. They’ve had more than enough cock… they’re full… they’re just sucking for the sake of it. Now they’re overgay, and frowned upon by people who can have the occasional cock but not over indulge.

When a doctor tells me that that’s how you become gay, I’ll stop making jokes about fat people.

Make sure to check out Rickey’s website for more irreverent genius.