Sure it may have taken a whole team of forensic investigators and a $16 million budget to do it, but when Donald Trump says he’s investigating Barack Obama’s background in Hawaii you can be damn sure he’ll come up with something.

We’ve done a few different versions of this same idea in, the great found porn gallery and 20 illustrated sfw sexual euphemisms, but this time we’re going a slightly different route.

This time we’re running the gamut, from Marinated Rape fillets to MILF Realtors who promise blowjobs to unsatisfied customers… go figure.

Enjoy these 15 unusual sexually charged photos.

15. I Do it for the kids.

14. So that’s what they mean by pipe cleaning.

13. And the calculus class couldn’t stop giggling…

12. Abbreviation Fail.

11. Not so subtle.

10. So Japan, that’s what you’re gonna call an injured arm? Really?

9. Only around the holidays.

8. I’ll take 3 lbs with a side of sautĂ©ed humiliation.

7. I think MILF is a bit of a stretch for this bunch.

6. And for just $5 more, enjoy our unlimited buffet.

5. At 4 pumps, extraordinarily concentrated is an understatement.

4. Ever been to the Wang-Holders? Throw a mean party…

3. Easily the greatest name ever.

2. Not exactly what I would have called them.

1. The only honest Hallmark card ever made.

The main difference between dictators and dictaters is that dictators (Adolf Hitler in particular) err on the side of getting you skinny, and not in a P90X kind of way. Dictaters, on the other hand, can lead to obesity — too many carbs.

I guess the only other difference is that dictaters can be fried while dictators do the frying.

You would think someone would have looked at the layout and considered not putting a creamy, frothy bunker nearest the hole at the head of the hole.

Don’t forget your headcovers…

Originally sent to ehowa by Michael Hubert who wrote,

“Never sent you anything before but, knew you would appreciate this. Saturday I played in a golf tournament in Harrison, OH. The course name was Circling Hills. I have never claimed to be the most brilliant man in the world (pretty close but,…..). However, I still believe there had to be a rough draft of this before it was permanently etched into granite for the ages. I also thoroughly believe I can’t be the only one who, if in the room at the time of the review, may have looked at that draft and said “That looks pretty close to how that particular hole is laid out Bob but, could you make it look a little less like a GIANT COCK?”

For those of you who watch Rescue Me and saw last Tuesday’s episode, this is essentially what fall-guy Sean Garrity’s package looked like after he got down and dirty with the Jergens bronzing lotion – AKA humped a bowl of yams…

When you’re thinking of a name for your hot new burger joint or your neighborhood ice-creamery, you should take a second to make sure your ideas are not derived from categories on the popular SNL skit Celebrity Jeopardy. These 10 store names (one company name) were never double-checked, consequently they make up Banned’s Top 10 Stupid Store Names.

Tits…

10. Spacing is key when it comes to exchanging kids and sex changes

9. Cream filled buns anyone?

8. Popular with the ladies…

7. Sounds painful and probably available on Craigslist

6. Arrive early as space is limited

5. In case your girl is all dried up?

4. Simple and to the point

3. I usually stay at the Alltheway Inn

2. Hard-Ons not available used

1. I prefer Gabonese, but Tanzanian isn’t bad with hot sauce

When it comes to sex and looking sexy, people cross many lines in order to cash in on the desperate. Ever wanted to shove Mel Gibson up your ass? You can do it with celebrity butt plugs. Unhappy with the way your nipples or your camel-toe looks through your clothing? Well there are fixes for those issues too.

On that note, here are the Top 5 Sex Products That Shouldn’t Be.

5. Celebrity Butt Plugs

Ever wanted to shove George W. Bush up your ass? No? How about Mel Gibson? Well now you can whether you want to or not with Celebrity Butt Plugs. Currently available models are George W. Tush, Smell Gibson (special limited multi-colored Braveheart edition), and Parass Hilton.

4. iBuzz

The iBuzz is designed for anyone who loves loving their hand while listening to their favorite Elliot Smith tracks on their first generation iPod shuffle.

Turn on you iPod, plug in your iBuzz, and Elliot Smith will be singing your favorite depressing songs directly into your vagina (or penis via detachable penis ring).

3. Hida Bust Pudding

Is this food or some kind of squirt gun?

2. The Beauty Nipple

Made for use in warm climates only. Use in cold climates can lead to the 4-nipple udder effect.

1. Cuchini – Our Lips Are Sealed!

Camel-toe-be-gone is currently available for women only. Camel-tail-be-gone available Q3 2010.

If you are easily offended, I recommend you steer your browser away from Banned In Hollywood immediately. Actually, just don’t use the internet at all.

30. Lumpy Love

29. Prevention at its finest.

28. Why use Crystal Shine when you can use Giz?

27. Seriously though, what wife?

26. You can’t really call it bestiality if it’s Grover, right?

25. In this case, on the other hand…

24. This guy could never be the catcher.

23. For that special someone.

22. Best handjob in town aye?

21. A children’s book for starting young.

20. But for when they’re teenagers…

19. Happy Hallowiener up my pumpkin.

18. Not just a little threat, a big threat…

17. Next time go for the Brazilian wax.

16. At least it’s not scratchy.

15. If you’ve already played all the basic games…

14. More fun than an egg hunt.

13. No, no, no. Huge Yank.

12. Nothing says comfort like a dick in your ear.

11. Not just for girls anymore!

10. On Saturday you can expect my massive cock over your house…

9. …and on Thursday I’ll expect your massive cock in my mouth.

8. That’s some found porn from before there even was porn.

7. Cum early for your free pearl necklace…

6. Pulling Cock, for kids.

5. We always knew it was true, might as well see them in action.

4. Santa has never been so happy.

3. You know what they say, everyone can do it…

2. “He nailed him hard and deep in the pocket.” – John Madden

1. Because technically they’re not married.

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