My name’s Sean. I wrote an article last summer about beer pong and the spread of herpes. I came up with the idea while observing a few friends playing everyone’s favorite party game. In passing, I thought this might be ripe for a satirical article. After mulling it over for a few days, I wrote up the first draft. My co-writer, Peter, thought it was a bit too over-the-top, so we changed a few things. What happened was a series of conversations which lead to the one presently on our site.

Our first inclination is that no one would believe it was real (Dr. Cole Desorio, really?). This article would have you believe that besides the homophone joke with the good doctor, the rest of the article was completely serious. We thought the ridiculous quotes were a dead giveaway. We’ll spot you those, but if this didn’t ring any bells, you should be wearing a helmet:

CDC Safe Pong Tips:

-Discard cups after every use, reusing cups can compromise their protective integrity
-Get tested regularly
-Stacking cups can spread the risk of transmission of HSV
-Beirut is not a safer alternative to beer pong
-Remember! Alcohol may impair the ability to practice pong safely

Foiled again!

Oh for Fox sake.

While your reporting has been comedy gold since its inception, it worries me a bit. I mean, most of the world is stupid but having a multi-national news corporation do less fact-checking than this guy is a bit unnerving. Then again, we’re sure that most of your research department was hired straight from the Chuck Norris Facts website.

Fox News Fact: Fox News can take two guesses at a true/false question and still answer it wrong.

It’s easy to call photoshop on every picture you see on the interwebs because that’s all you have to do, but for the sake of the guy’s social life that presumably “shopped” this screenshot (at least to the skeptic), I defend its authenticity.

I understand that this is the internet and that this guy does actually exist, but I hate to think that somewhere in the midwest, a lonely photoshopographer saw the above news story, paused the telecast, grabbed his digicam, snaped, uploaded and photoshopped this otherwise meaningless screenshot all for the sake of fooling me into defending it.

But if in fact lonely sweater guy shopped this – well then fu©k you, guy.

Seriously though, go to www.fox13.cock for recipes…

Oh, and if you don’t know what longpig is you need to do more cannibalizing.