Posts Tagged ‘Gay Marriage’

5) Relationship Status

At the time of this writing, only two states in the country have legalized gay marriage, yet 90% of college aged women claim to be married to their best female friends. This is a factual impossibility, no matter how many bumper stickers written by total strangers are sent back and forth as if they were inside jokes. Additionally, if more men actually married their “shorties” instead of figuring that nicknaming her “wifey” is close enough, we might not have a single mother epidemic.

The Lie:

The Truth:

The Lie:

The Truth:

4) Friends

Primate research suggests that there is a finite number of others we are capable of caring for and maintaining emotional connections to, but Facebook research indicates differently. Fortunately my massive primate brain is able to handle a near infinite number of bullsh-t claims, the thousand-friend-myth among them. This isn’t even remotely true.

The Lie                                                     The Truth

It doesn’t help that 982 of those photos are actually of his custom built PC which he has named Jerome Jr.