Posts Tagged ‘Gemma Atkinson’

Not much production value here, but content is key. For more content, specifically of one of the sexiest women in the world, check out the great Gemma Atkinson gallery.

Image Via Unstructed

If you’ve been to Vegas but have never been to the Hard Rock Hotel to party at Rehab, you haven’t really seen Vegas.

You’ve been called on by prostitutes roaming the strip, you’ve puked down the straw of your 80 oz. margarita filled guitar and woke up at 6 am. next to a blond and an empty bottle of Don Julio at the Bellagio pool despite your engagement to an unhappy woman waiting for you to come home to your room at Mandalay Bay, but unless you have gone to Rehab, you haven’t seen the scantily-clad women and the excessive debauchery that make the Hard Rock pool on Sundays the greatest party in Las Vegas.

If you are this unlucky person who is yet to attend the hottest party on the strip, you’re in luck because TruTV is bringing the sex, the booze, the fights and the babes of Rehab directly to your television set every Tuesday at 10p/9c – and the best part… no hangovers.

Because your sorry ass can’t afford a flight out to the shining city, trvTV’s Rehab is your chance to live vicariously through the lucky guys who are getting the sexy tail you should be getting too. And no, this isn’t your scripted reality MTV-The-Hills-Of Lagunaport-Harbor b.s. this is real life television where the camera crew follows and records the sexy action as opposed to creating the action.

This is the real deal. Check it out below.

Does Rehab sound appetizing? Join the sweepstakes to win a chance to party like a rock star at Rehab at the Las Vegas Hard Rock Hotel & Casino pool. You can enter by clicking here.

Who she is

Born in Bury, Greater Manchester, Gemma Atkinson began her career on British TV soap opera Hollyoaks. Equipped with some time in front of the camera and a massive chest, Gemma Atkinson segued her career from television to covers of Nuts, Loaded, FHM and Maxim Magazine.

Why you should know her

Gemma began modelling with measurements 34D-25-36. She later had breast implants increasing her measurements to 36E-25-36. Smart Girl.

Why you shouldn’t sleep with her (as if you could)

The last thing you need is the Christiano Ronaldo strain…

Gemma Atkinson poses for the UK’s Zoo Magazine. If producing sexy women were an Olympic event, Britain would take home the gold every year.

Although it sounds like a big task, I’m sure you’d rather be rating 99 of the sexiest women in the world rather than filing papers for the guy you work for–your bastard boss who knows less about the business he runs than you do.

Keeley Hazell, Megan Fox, Gemma Atkinson, Karolina Kurkova–any of these women in your top 5? If so, head on over to AskMen.com and rate away instead of wasting away behind your desk–just keep your hands above your desk please…

Anyone that has spent 5 minutes watching the NFL/NBA draft realizes how homoerotic commentators can be when they describe the athletic acuity of college prospects. To make it decidedly less gay, the Banned in Hollywood editors have constructed the first ever Female Fantasy Draft. Draft order was predetermined by number of women notched on our belts. Since Peter is still a virgin, he gets first pick.

Round 1: Returner (Woman you can bring home to the parents.)

1. Natalie Portman, Jerusalem, Irsael (Peter)
Reason for drafting: Shes’ hot, a Harvard grad and because she’s Jewish, she’ll like my mom because she can’t stand her own.

SeanThomas: I thought you were part German? That’s going to go over REAL well.
Peter: No moron, you’re part German. I’m Irish.
SeanThomas: Oh yeah. Well, you’ll be drunk either way.
Brotha Jonze: I’m part German, so you can have her. I look for a woman who can cook, and as a returner, Natalie Portman and my industrial-sized oven wouldn’t get along. I should just invest in a nice Dutch oven to avoid any complications in my future.

2. Scarlett Johansson, New York, New York (SeanThomas)
Reason for drafting: She’s got bust written all over her, and I don’t really mind. Physically gifted, fluid hips, and she’s charming. She wins my dad’s heart without saying a word. Did I mention she dresses classy?

Brotha Jonze: Don’t get me wrong, she looks good now, but give her ten years and those chest hams will sag and she’ll put on a few pounds… which is unacceptable as a returner, you’re looking for quickness in the sack and consistency. Imagine her with a belly, the face just doesn’t hold up.
SeanThomas: She’s reached her ceiling, I’ll give you that. Hopefully her legs can reach mine.
Brotha Jonze: Touche, good sir. Touche.

3. Gemma Atkinson, Bury, Greater Manchester, England (Brotha Jonze)

Reason for drafting: Her accent.

SeanThomas: Your parents must subscribe to the “she has an English accent and therefore smart” theory, which most Americans seem to have. Her intelligence is about as real as her chest.
Brotha Jonze: Which is perfect because I get all the benefits of others thinking she’s smart without actually being so. Why would you want a smart girl, Sean? If you dated a smart chick, she’d leave you before you got her in bed.
SeanThomas: Gemma seems to dig the soccer players. On the bright side, you might be the first straight guy she’s screwed.
Peter: Enjoy your raging case of the Cristiano Ronaldo strain.
Brotha Jonze: Hey, at least AIDS kills you. Better than living the rest of your life with a bumpy dick right?

Capprice Bourret likes stretching – Busted Coverage
Christina Milian shows off on the red carpet – on 205th
7 ways to play Jenga – Cuzoogle
If the ACC were chicks – Brahsome
A bartender’s worst nightmare – Tasty Booze
Another fan of cheerleaders – Uncoached
Zubaz are back. But did they ever really leave? – YepYep

Ric Flair’s family has got issues – Blog of Hilarity
Christina Aguilera’s implants rock – Derober
Uncomfortable moments in NFL name confusion – Next Round
Another reason David Beckham is better than you – Macho Chip

Geek ink stinks – Asylum
The eye tattoo – Afro Jacks
College towns that rock – Boosh Magazine
An interview with Bobby Kelly – Comedy
Jessica Simpson brings out the big guns – Celebridiot
Sean Avery will now be the subject of a shitty romantic comedy – With Leather

See more at Nuts.co.uk