Everyone has that friend who you aren’t allowed to invite over to your house because no matter how careful he is, your 60″ lED LCD TV is coming off the wall one way or another.

If you have to apologize to more than one person every single day, you’re doing it wrong.

And one more, for your health.

I’m not a fan of ice hockey. I’m from Southern California so why would I be? There’s really no reason to confine myself to a 28 degree arena while a bunch of guys I don’t know skate around on what will never be native to any part of my hometown.

I’d much rather go surfing and then watch the only aspect of hockey I care about on the internet when I’m bored than deal with a bunch of sweaty fucking dudes in pads they’ve never washed.

If you’ve never smelled old hockey pads, just imagine what a facefull of Dionar Navarro‘s jockstrap dipped in curdled mayonnaise might smell like, then let that thought sit in the sun for a few hours.