If you’re unfamiliar with him, Damien Walters is a British gymnast who gained notoriety a few years back for a video that went viral on the internet.

He currently works as a stuntman and has been in such films as Hellboy II, Kick-Ass, Ninja Assassin and Scott Pilgrim vs. the World. In 2010, he won the Taurus World Stunt Awards for “Best Fight” in the film Ninja Assassin which landed him roles in the upcoming films Blitz, The Eagle and Steven Spielberg’s I Am Number Four.

I usually wouldn’t refer to a gymnast as a badass, but this isn’t exactly your 23-year-old Starbucks barista hipster doing gymboree.

Damien Walters 2009 Reel

Damien Walters 2010 Reel

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again — one of the most repeated maxims in the English language. The only problem — the guy who first coined it, Thomas H. Palmer, was a writer and not a gymnast.

More appropriate in the case — if at first you don’t succeed, you better have a damn good dental plan.

BEIJING — Despite relentless questions regarding the eligibility of the Chinese toddler gymnastics team that won the gold medal for women, the International Olympic Committee said Friday that further proof is needed for the case to continue, less it will be “put to rest.”

China has again provided documents from the 2004 team for the 2008 team, proving their eligibility. Coach Lu Shanzhen said the girls’ families are “indignant” that these issues, like most of their freedoms, won’t get swept under the carpet.

“It’s not just me. The parents of our athletes are all very indignant,” Lu explained in an hearing with The Associated Press. “They have faced groundless suspicion. Why aren’t they believed? Why are their children suspected?”

Editor’s Thoughts: Instead of China providing documents, which are about as authentic as the copy of Terminator Salvation I managed to snag on DVD a year before it’s theatrical release in 2009 (I know this not because it’s a pre-release, but because there was dried blood on the packaging, likely from the 9 year old’s fingers who was beaten and forced to package it), China needs to provide photographic evidence that He Kexin is older than she appears in the below picture, which is impossible.

Who needs it in writing when you’ve got it in the flesh?

Even though their names sound Eastern European, or in the case of Shawn Johnson, Celtic (the Boston kind) – this trifecta is actually the cornerstone of Team USA‘s female artistic gymnastic discipline.

Coming in at under 5’2″, The trio is a perfect fit in China – Less their gender, we all know how the Chinese people (government) cherish their baby girls.

Shawn Johnson

Date of birth: January 19, 1992 (age 16)
Place of birth: West Des Moines, Iowa
Height: 4’9″

Keep your pants on guys, she’s only 16.

Nastia Liukin

Full name: Anastasia Valeryevna Liukin
Date of birth: October 30, 1989 (age 18)
Place of birth: Moscow
Height: 5’2″

Alicia Sacramone

Date of birth: December 3, 1987 (age 20)
Place of birth: Winchester, Massachusetts
Height: 5’0″