Article titles are in no particular order because I have become as lazy as psychics have gotten (see #1). Rearranging the titles is a lot of work, especially with so many god damn Colons.

Here are Banned’s 20 (Un)Intentionally Funny News Headlines.

20. Trust me, you would have done the same thing, it was waaaaaay too long

19. Thanks, but no thanks. That’s the last thing they need…

18. Safe sex can be dangerous

17. Do Want

16. For removal, please see physician ASAP

15. They used to spell it M’sip

14. Accidental Silicone-C4 switcheroo

13. Kansas City finally gets some ass!

12. Please explain… Oh, you mean David Seaman… Ok, because I thought…

11. Too close for cuntfort

10. Not ideal

9. Payback

8. A sticky situation

7. Editor, clearly male

6. Following directions fail

5. Not really worth the $1 lotto ticket

4. I would have guessed it was a bit lower…

3. Bad decisions were made, everyone got pregnant

2. He was knee-slap-clapping like you do when you have a beer in your hand

1. Psychics are getting lazy

You have to figure that with the printed news industry on the decline, salaries are likely decreasing along with the interest talented writers have in seeking positions at said news organizations.

That said, there are still a talented few among us, and it’s my theory that, given their cost-per-word employment contracts, these talented writers are hired for one small but important role — writing titles.

Here are 25 horribly awesome news headlines.

CC promises to warm up the chilly Bronx with 26″ rims and a 12-piece bucket of dark meat chicken.

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