Posts Tagged ‘humor’

I was stumbling through the Something Awful Forums when I came across a thread called Illustrated Sexual Euphemisms and, like so many times before, knew I needed to suck the thread and give it some attention.

I pulled ten or fifteen of my favorite submissions, did a little photoshopping, and added a few myself in order to compile what I believe are the Top 20 Safe For Work Illustrated Sexual Euphemisms.

Thanks goes out to the Goons for inspiration (as well as for a few quality photoshop jobs, especially to nickhimself for sexual euphemism #3).

In case any of the following 20 illustrated sexual euphemisms leave you stumped, an answer key is provided at the bottom of the page.

20.

19.

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Official Answer Key:

20. Beat Your Meat
19. Three Hole Punch
18. Hairy Beaver
17. Donkey Punch
16. Golden Shower
15. Choking Your Chicken
14. Furburger
13. Horizontal Mambo
12. Hung Like A Horse
11. Cleveland Steamer
10. No Pants Dance
9. Bust A Nut
8. Laying Pipe
7. Hot Beef Injection
6. Sucking Dick
5. Cleaning Your Rifle
4. Dirty Sanchez
3. Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger
2. Does The Carpet Match The Drapes?
- Yes, I Believe It Does…
1. The Rusty Trombone

There’s not much to preface here, besides can this honestly be real? If it’s not real and this is all an act, she’s really got some acting chops, almost as good as Leonardo DiCaprio in What’s Eating Gilbert Grape.

Of all the designer watches in the market, the most user compliant ones are the citizen watches but still the ones bought the most are swiss watches, closely followed by the invicta watches.

This is why you propose somewhere romantic and not over a hot dog and a beer at the big game. But hey, at least the mascot was there to give the broken hearted guy a hug, after all, “he’ll probably get over it in ten or twelve years.” Next time knock your girlfriend up if you really want to marry her.

This driver, obviously a woman, has got to be the worst, most retarded woman in the world. How else do you manage to roll your car on a security gate?

There’s nothing more satisfying than watching a douchebag do a back flip of a stage and land on his head, knocking himself out. Oh, and an entertainer attempting a front flip, then slip and fall on his face… priceless. Enjoy.