I was stumbling through the Something Awful Forums when I came across a thread called Illustrated Sexual Euphemisms and, like so many times before, knew I needed to suck the thread and give it some attention.

I pulled ten or fifteen of my favorite submissions, did a little photoshopping, and added a few myself in order to compile what I believe are the Top 20 Safe For Work Illustrated Sexual Euphemisms.

Thanks goes out to the Goons for inspiration (as well as for a few quality photoshop jobs, especially to nickhimself for sexual euphemism #3).

In case any of the following 20 illustrated sexual euphemisms leave you stumped, an answer key is provided at the bottom of the page.

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Official Answer Key:

20. Beat Your Meat
19. Three Hole Punch
18. Hairy Beaver
17. Donkey Punch
16. Golden Shower
15. Choking Your Chicken
14. Furburger
13. Horizontal Mambo
12. Hung Like A Horse
11. Cleveland Steamer
10. No Pants Dance
9. Bust A Nut
8. Laying Pipe
7. Hot Beef Injection
6. Sucking Dick
5. Cleaning Your Rifle
4. Dirty Sanchez
3. Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger
2. Does The Carpet Match The Drapes?
- Yes, I Believe It Does…
1. The Rusty Trombone

Jon Lajoie is back at it again with his newest video for the song “Fuck Everything”.

Support the Apple Deathstar and buy this track on iTunes.

We all know Heywood Jablome, we’ve spent time with Rusty Kuntz, and we’ve all seen a special report with Mike Litoris, so in an effort to do what has already been done but in slightly updated fashion, I bring you 25 horribly amazing names.

If you’ve heard of the internets, you’ll surely recognize many of these, but if I can expose you to a few name fails you’re yet to stumble upon, then I’ve done my job.

And. Here. We. Go.

I can’t imagine you would get away with this in the States – too many mall security guards that have seen too many Richard Donner movies, and no one wants to deal with a taser wielding rent-a-cop going Riggs.

That said, we thank you Australia for your ballsiness and your exchange students traveling abroad in Europe.

We’ve done a few different versions of this same idea in, the great found porn gallery and 20 illustrated sfw sexual euphemisms, but this time we’re going a slightly different route.

This time we’re running the gamut, from Marinated Rape fillets to MILF Realtors who promise blowjobs to unsatisfied customers… go figure.

Enjoy these 15 unusual sexually charged photos.

15. I Do it for the kids.

14. So that’s what they mean by pipe cleaning.

13. And the calculus class couldn’t stop giggling…

12. Abbreviation Fail.

11. Not so subtle.

10. So Japan, that’s what you’re gonna call an injured arm? Really?

9. Only around the holidays.

8. I’ll take 3 lbs with a side of sautéed humiliation.

7. I think MILF is a bit of a stretch for this bunch.

6. And for just $5 more, enjoy our unlimited buffet.

5. At 4 pumps, extraordinarily concentrated is an understatement.

4. Ever been to the Wang-Holders? Throw a mean party…

3. Easily the greatest name ever.

2. Not exactly what I would have called them.

1. The only honest Hallmark card ever made.

Of all the designer watches in the market, the most user compliant ones are the citizen watches but still the ones bought the most are swiss watches, closely followed by the invicta watches.