Posts Tagged ‘Jessica Biel’

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Amateur strippers send in vidz for votes.
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James Hetfield is a badass… Shopper
Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Entourage.

Anyone that has spent 5 minutes watching the NFL/NBA draft realizes how homoerotic commentators can be when they describe the athletic acuity of college prospects. To make it decidedly less gay, the Banned in Hollywood editors have constructed the first ever Female Fantasy Draft. Draft order was predetermined by number of women notched on our belts. Since Peter is still a virgin, he gets first pick.

Round 1: Returner (Woman you can bring home to the parents.)

1. Natalie Portman, Jerusalem, Irsael (Peter)
Reason for drafting: Shes’ hot, a Harvard grad and because she’s Jewish, she’ll like my mom because she can’t stand her own.

SeanThomas: I thought you were part German? That’s going to go over REAL well.
Peter: No moron, you’re part German. I’m Irish.
SeanThomas: Oh yeah. Well, you’ll be drunk either way.
Brotha Jonze: I’m part German, so you can have her. I look for a woman who can cook, and as a returner, Natalie Portman and my industrial-sized oven wouldn’t get along. I should just invest in a nice Dutch oven to avoid any complications in my future.

2. Scarlett Johansson, New York, New York (SeanThomas)
Reason for drafting: She’s got bust written all over her, and I don’t really mind. Physically gifted, fluid hips, and she’s charming. She wins my dad’s heart without saying a word. Did I mention she dresses classy?

Brotha Jonze: Don’t get me wrong, she looks good now, but give her ten years and those chest hams will sag and she’ll put on a few pounds… which is unacceptable as a returner, you’re looking for quickness in the sack and consistency. Imagine her with a belly, the face just doesn’t hold up.
SeanThomas: She’s reached her ceiling, I’ll give you that. Hopefully her legs can reach mine.
Brotha Jonze: Touche, good sir. Touche.

3. Gemma Atkinson, Bury, Greater Manchester, England (Brotha Jonze)

Reason for drafting: Her accent.

SeanThomas: Your parents must subscribe to the “she has an English accent and therefore smart” theory, which most Americans seem to have. Her intelligence is about as real as her chest.
Brotha Jonze: Which is perfect because I get all the benefits of others thinking she’s smart without actually being so. Why would you want a smart girl, Sean? If you dated a smart chick, she’d leave you before you got her in bed.
SeanThomas: Gemma seems to dig the soccer players. On the bright side, you might be the first straight guy she’s screwed.
Peter: Enjoy your raging case of the Cristiano Ronaldo strain.
Brotha Jonze: Hey, at least AIDS kills you. Better than living the rest of your life with a bumpy dick right?

Some of the below sites contain mature content. We do not host adult content at Banned In Hollywood, but if you are not of the legal age to view such content in your territory, please do not click on any of the below links.

Thanks.

Abigail Clancy – DAMN!
Angelina Jolie – Topless in France
Ashley Dupre – She’s really a ho fo sho.
Ashley Alexandra Dupre – Topless
Audrina Patridge – Showing off her panties!
Audrina Patridge – Posing Naked!
Audrina Patridge – Or Hot and nude!
Audrina Patridge - Newest Nude Shoot!
Angelina Jolie – Changing Topless
Aubrey O’Day – See though
Beyonce Knowles – On Stage Nip Slip!
Britney Spears – No Bra!
Britney Spears – Put away you vag please
Britney Spears – We’re begging you…
Britney Spears – Now this is just getting old.
Britney Spears – Not Again
Britney Spears – Ok, Now You’re Just Not Trying
Britney Spears – OK, One more time…
Britney Spears – Nipple peeking out at Grammys
Britney Spears – Flashes a Nipple and a Boob!
Cameron Diaz – Nude Shots (click images to reveal)
Carmen Electra – Good N’ Neked
Christina Aguilera – Try wearing some underwear next time
Christina Ricci – Is not hot
Cindy Crawford – Topless
Claire Danes – Nip Slip
Demi Moore – Nipple slip see through
Emma Watson – Upskirt
Eva Mendes – Italian Vogue
Gisele Bundchen – See through
Gisele Bundchen – Topless and Nip Slips
Gisele Bundchen – Sexy and Naked!
Gisele Bundchen – Nude
Hayden Panettiere – Birthday Bikini Nip Slip
Halle Berry – Nipple/Breast slip from her new film
Halle Berry – Titty Twister?
Heidi Klum – Completely Topless!
Janet Jackson – What’s on your nippy?
Janet Jackson – or E.T?
Jennifer Garner – Is hot.
Jessica Alba – Not Naked, But Not Bad
Jessica Alba – Is see through!
Jessica Biel – Legs for days, @ss for weeks!
Jessica Gomes – Topless for GQ
Jessica Simpson – Boob Out!
Jessica Simpson – Almost…
Jessica Simpson – Breast Inspection
Jodie marsh – Nipple busting out
Julianne Moore – Vogue Paris
Kate Moss – Little tiny Nipples outside
Keeley Hazell – Huge And Topless!
Keeley Hazell – Topless In Hollywood
Kelly Brook – Topless at the beach
Kim Kardashian – Big Booty
Kimberly Walsh – Gotta watch out for the side nippy.
Kristin Davis - Sexage Tape Pics
Madonna – Nipples
Karolina Kurkova – No Shirt
Kate Moss – See Through
Katie Holmes – Barely a Nip Slip
Lilly Allen – Tan Boob Nip Slip
Lilly Allen – Put that thing away..
Lindsay Lohan – SEX TAPE
Lindsay Lohan – See through
Lindsay Lohan – Firecrotch
Lindsay Lohan – Beach Boobage
Lindsay Lohan – Now that’s just disgusting
Lindsay Lohan – Chest Hams
Lucy Pinder – Topless
Marcia Cross – Put some clothes on your wrinkled body.
Marian Carey – Photoshoot Nip Slip
Mariah Carey – Don’t know how to call this one
Marisa Miller - Bikini nip slip!
Marisa Tomei – Nude Vids
Megan Fox – Nip Slip!
Megan Fox – No Top!
Mischa Barton – Make sure to wear the whole shirt next time
Mischa Barton – Oldschool Boobs
Mischa Barton – Let’s it slip through the shirt
Mischa Barton – Closing The Ring
Natalie Portman – Bare
Natalie Portman – At Hotel
Neve Campbell – Floppers
Nicolette Sheridan – Nip Slip
Nicolette Sheridan – Is it that tough to keep a bikini on?
Olivia Munn – Pulls a breast out on TV!
Pam Anderson – run-a-way-nipple
Paris Hilton – See through
Paris Hilton – Put that thing away!
Paris Hilton – Surfing Nip
Rebecca Gayheart – Knows what she’s getting into…
Rebecca Gayheart – Topless
Rihanna – See through nipples!
Rihanna – See through Nip Slip
Sharon Stone – Topless
Sienna Miller – Topless!
Sienna Miller – Needs a bikini, not duct tape
Sienna Miller – Again!
Sienna Miller – And Again…
Sienna Miller – Beach Topless
Sienna Miller – Topless
Sophie Monk – No bra and hard nips
Tiffani Amber Thiessen – Looks good to me
Tila Tequila – See through
Uma Thurman – This is what happens when you buy the see through dress
Vanessa Minnillo – Not Too Cute
Victoria Beckham – Nippleage
Whitney Port – Nipple Slip in a bikini
Whitney Port – Nip Slip
Winona Ryder – Nude