Posts Tagged ‘Los Angeles’

I was under the impression that the green jerseys the Dodgers wear on St. Patty’s Day were intended to symbolize what the players’ complexions look like a few hours after the game, and fifteen car-bombs deep–maybe not for Chad Billingsley and Clayton Kershaw but definitely for Joe Beimel (I’m gonna miss your 2am hand mangling barroom brawls buddy), however I stand corrected by die hard Dodger fan, Alyssa Milano, who explained on her blog that the 1937 Brooklyn Dodgers wore green jerseys similar to the replicas seen here for the entire season–an abysmal season they might as well have been drunk for.

So what does this all mean?

They ditched green and went blue after finishing in 6th place, 33 and-a-half games behind crosstown rivals the New York Giants.

And, that it’s St. Patrick’s Day and you should be out drinking in honor of a country that (historians may disagree with me) turned all their potatoes into liquor, got pants shittingly drunk for 90 days, and once all the potato vodka was consumed, suffered from a year-and-a-half long hangover called the potato famine–pretty neat.

To Dodger fans, this video requires no explanation. But to everyone else, this is what it feels like to be a Dodger fan – Everyday, for the past twenty years.

Alyssa Milano pictured above with St. Louis Cardinal and ex Dodger Cesar Izturis.

ST LOUIS – Before the Dodgers arrived at Chavez Ravine last Thursday, they were National League West champs. And while much credit must be given to Albert Pujols and the St. Louis Cardinals (who had nothing but pride to play for) for beating the Arizona D-Bags three games out of four, they might not have been able to do it without the support of Dodger fan and MLBlogger Alyssa Milano who gave them something more to play for (a date possibly? Well, not if you look like Ron Villone).

Milano, who was in St. Louis to promote her MLB gear for women sparked the St. Louis offense in the clubhouse and in the dugout. She comments on the Dodgers success:

“We have clinched the NL West and that is glorious. Manny should be the NL MVP. We wouldn’t be where we are right now without him. And Andre Ethier had a breakout year. I am very proud of you, Andre.”

Good luck in October Dodgers. I’ll be at the Saturday and Sunday games with my birthday suit, wtf? party hat on.

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Because naming a team from Los Angeles The Rams makes about as much sense as seeing a Matthew McConaughey flick, the team at Banned In Hollywood decided to come up with some suggestions for an LA football team name based on the virtuous Los Angeles reputation.

And because Pittsburgh is known for its thieves, Kansas City for its Police squad and Green Bay for its gay district, we decided that looking to what the great city of Los Angeles has to offer would inspire us.

The Los Angeles Failed Actors AKA the LA Thespians:

When considering what the LA Failed Actors uniform would be, I exhausted myself because actors wear so many different costumes. But then I realized that the most common outfit actors in Los Angeles wear are waiter’s clothes. Think about it, it’s perfect – The Cincinnati Bengals aren’t actually Tigers, they just dress up that way. And similarly, the LA Failed Actors aren’t really Waiters, they just dress that way, because in reality they’re actors, failed or not.

The only problem the Failed Actors might face as a team, could be their reliability on the field; they’d constantly be showing up late because they couldn’t afford cars so they’d ride bikes, and always miss games for auditions that they never would end up getting.

The Los Angeles Scenesters:

The LA Scenesters may run into problems because, as a general rule, emo scenesters don’t do helmets. In order to look as good as they think they do, they have to flat-iron half of their hair, then flap-jack it to one side, spike the tail of their man-mullet (pronounced Moo-Lei), and feather the other half of their hair, all the while leaving time to iron their black, collard Hot Topic shirt, put on their skinny tie, throw on their scarf and blazer and drive to the gas station to fill up their Scion XB and buy cigarettes. On the one hand however, they’ll already have the really tight pants and black eye makeup.

Plus, like the Arizona Diamondbacks being nicknamed the D-Backs, we could nickname the Los Angeles Scenesters the D-Bags.

PHILADELPHIA – Despite Dodger right fielder Andre Ethier drawing five balls from Phillies starter Joe Blanton and the Dodgers going into the 9th with a one run lead, Dodger bullpen did not fail at exhibiting their unwavering dependability at blowing games when they matter most.

Home-plate umpire Jerry Layne lost track of the count and allowed Blanton an extra ball before awarding Ethier first base – an error that would prove meaningless as the game turned from unexpected to typical in the 9th inning when Jonathan Broxton blew his 6th game in just 16 opportunities.

Though Broxton was fighting for the still absent role of Dodger Closer, echos in the Chavez Ravine clubhouse sound more and more like Opener after each game the 6′4″ 290 lb Broxton leaves for the opposition’s taking.

Because after all, this is Banned In Hollywood, it’s only natural that we throw a shout out to our family favorite Alyssa Milano in support of her favorite team, the Los Angeles Dodgers, despite her loyalties to the NY Mets.

If photo evidence weren’t enough, Alyssa Milano is a baseball fan through and through not just because Alyssa’s blog cogitates on baseball, nor because of her past relationships with Carl Pavano, Brad Penny and Barry Zito, or her season Dodger box tickets, but because she chose to show at Chavez Ravine with Manny dreads on head – that’s dedication, Dodger dedication. And what better way to end the week than to see the boys in blue sweep the Phil’s in four games?

Alyssa is so supportive of what the Dodgers are doing that she proposed a $10 K.M.I.L.A.F designed to do just that, keep Manny in LA.

Hopefully she gets this thing moving, it would be a bummer to lose Manny to Andruw Jones’ $18 Million yearly salary. Though, at that rate the Dodgers would have to pay Manny around $65 Million per year (based on Jones’ salary to performance ratio, or S2P).

Thank God Jones isn’t much of a trendsetter.

(Last 3 photos at Shea Stadium)

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