Posts Tagged ‘Manny Ramirez’

Last week I showed what happens when pitchers get angry and throw at batters in the pictorial 10 Great Baseball Beanings. Then just days later, 3 MLB players were hit in the head, including Dodger starting pitcher Hiroki Kuroda who took a line drive off the temple.

This week I’ve decided (mostly because I now believe I have agency over MLB hit-batters, and I love watching brawls) to explain what happens after the beanings (in pictorial form, because I know you don’t feel like reading).

Not surprisingly, there are plenty of Red Sox to go around, so naturally I’ll begin with the classic Pedro v. Don Zimmer.

Enjoy.

LOS ANGELES – Home to the AIG bailout party, St. Regis Resort Monarch Beach in Dana Point, California will be the home to what agent Scott Boras calls his “little Popsicle stand.”

Among freezer flavors Mark Teixeira, CC Sabathia, Eric Gagne, and Jason Varitek sits Boras’ big stick, Manny Ramirez who is looking for a GM with a sweet tooth and pockets padded enough to accommodate at least $25 million for each of the next 3 years plus.

After batting nearly .400 for the Dodgers in the regular season and more than .500 in the postseason, Manny secured himself the top spot at Boras’ popsicle stand, admitting “Gas is up and so am I.”

So will the Dodgers, who could potentially lose Derek Lowe, Rafael Furcal, Casey Blake, Brad Penny, Jeff Kent, Nomar Garciaparra, and Greg Maddux, make the wise move and dish out the cash for Ramirez? Or will the postseason proven Dodgers succumb to the talent they’ve relied on to secure second and third place finishes over the last 20 years with the likes of Juan Pierre and Andruw Jones who hit fewer homeruns in the regular season than Manny Ramirez did in the 2008 Dodger post-season?

With history as my guide, my prediction is that in 2009, Manny Ramirez will not wear Dodger blue, leaving me with all I’ve had to hold onto since 1988 – the Dodger blues…

(above) Tiger Woods shows his Dodger support at game three of the NLCS in what sports commentators are calling the most awkward picture taken yet during the 2008 post season.

Need to know facts:
Dodgers defeat Phillies (7-2)
Phillies lead series (2-1)
Near Brawl: 3rd Inning after Shane Victorino nearly wore it on the face
Attendees: Tiger Woods, Danny DeVito

Our Thoughts: The Tiger Woods appearance was sponsored by the PGA in an effort to remind people that professional golf still exists, which to be honest, I would rather watch than see Matt Kemp wave at three pitches and strike out one more god damn time (though I admit, he did look better on Sunday).

And a few more scenes from the game:

In a surprise move today, Ned Colletti, GM of the Dodgers, actually made a trade that might benefit the team.

The three-way trade lands Manny Ramirez in Los Angeles, Jason Bay to Boston, and the Pirates get prospects Andy Laroche, Bryan Morris, Craig Hansen, and Brandon Moss. The BoSox also agreed to pick up $7 million of Manny’s Salary.

The only way this could get better is if Mark Sweeney retired, Andruw Jones lost 90 pounds, and Jamie McCourt blew me while I ate an endless supply of Dodger Dogs. I’ll take 2 out of 3, though.