Banned In Hollywood » Marriage Archives – Banned In Hollywood

When Your Wife Checks Out Of Amazon.com With These Three Books, Be Concerned

Brotha Jonze — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 06:44:27 +0000

When I was in college my three roommates and I went to the grocery store to buy beer. While we were there we picked up a few other essentials — an 8-pack of paper towels, and for one of my roommates who had been seeing this cute brunette girl relatively regularly, a few bottles of KY Jelly (which he swears by but I’ve never tried).

Quickly this trifecta of goods called into question the sexual orientations of the four of us by both the checker who called us out, and the several dozen pair of disapproving eyes waiting in line behind us. While we had no intention of getting one another drunk, lubing up, fucking each other and then cleaning up the sticky mess with our abundance of paper towels, this is how we were perceived.

The point I’m trying to make is, after viewing your wife’s Amazon.com shopping cart, maybe she isn’t going to dice your ass up in the middle of the night and cuisinart your penis into Betty Crocker’s famous carrot souffle, but it sure as hell looks like it.

14 Great Divorce Cakes

Brotha Jonze — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 22:07:08 +0000

Marriage is something to celebrate and along with that celebration, cake is usually served. But because it seems that somehow there are more divorces taking place in the US than marriages, cake makers (bakers?) have found a new way to turn a dime on the booming divorce business.

Here are 14 great examples.

Kirstie Alley, keep your hands off.

Why You Don’t Propose At Sporting Events

Brotha Jonze — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 07:01:42 +0000

This is why you propose somewhere romantic and not over a hot dog and a beer at the big game. But hey, at least the mascot was there to give the broken hearted guy a hug, after all, “he’ll probably get over it in ten or twelve years.” Next time knock your girlfriend up if you really want to marry her.