Posts Tagged ‘Matt Leinart’

Seconds after Cardinals receiver Larry Fitzgerald scored on a touchdown pass from Kurt Warner to put the birds in the lead, Tucson, Arizona based Comcast Cable subscribers expected an end-zone dance but received a money shot.

Officials at the cable provider’s headquarters explained that 30 seconds of full-frontal male pornography from Club Jenna, an adult cable television channel, were shown on the local Super Bowl telecast to families and children of all ages–a scarring that will surely confuse young boys into believing that every time Larry Fitzgerald scores, massive white cocks will be pulled out of jeans and tossed around like thundersticks at Los Angeles Lakers games.

“The Star newsroom was flooded with calls from irate viewers who said that the porn cut into the game with less than three minutes left to play.

Callers said that the clip showed a woman unzipping a man’s pants, followed by a graphic act between the two.

“I just figured it was another commercial until I looked up,” said Cora King of Marana. “Then he did his little dance with everything hanging out.”

If you weren’t unlucky enough to be subjected to the massive white flesh-flute, follow this link if you must–the full video is provided (NSFW).

Something tells me Matt Leinart was behind this.

Miami Heat guard Dwyane Wade’s divorce from wife Siohvaughn, his high school sweetheart, is turning into a hairy, std infested abortion of young love.

From neglecting his two young children, to cutting Siohvaughn off financially and mid-sentence, D-Wade perpetuates the stigmata that athletes like Kobe Bryant and Matt Leinart have worked so hard at developing in the sporting world.

The Miami Herald reports:

In legal papers, she alleges he abandoned his children, committed adultery, and infected her with an unspecified sexually transmitted disease. She wants the names of ”all of his sexual partners” during their six-year marriage.

Dwyane, named a ”Father of the Year” in 2007 by the National Father’s Day Committee, has gone ”months” without seeing his boys, Siohvaughn says. His ”failure to spend time with them . . . has resulted in the children at times being afraid of him; in fact, Zion . . . does not recognize or know Dwyane.” She wants sole custody, and support.

She also says she has suffered ”grievous physical, emotional and mental injury” from the STD, diagnosed in the fall of ‘07. (The infection is not HIV or a ”killer thing,” sources say.) Dwyane and his ”paramour or paramours” are liable, she alleges.

Part of me wants to add the word “unfortunately” to the beginning of the quoted parenthetical–at least that way she wouldn’t have to live with an std…