Posts Tagged ‘Michael jackson’

Say what you will about Michael Jackson’s personal life, but you cannot deny the impact the artist has had on music and in popular culture over the last several decades.

To honor the king of pop, we decided it was necessary to feature one of Jackson’ most memorable videos – Thriller – Re-recorded, re-arranged and re-choreographed by another man, From India, With English subtitles provided by the man who made Benny Lava a legend: Buffalax!

For the unadulterated version, check it out here.

“Girly Man, Man, Man!”

Time does interesting things to people — for some, time does to appearance what alcohol does to most socialites’ vision — it makes ugly people beautiful, but others are less fortunate.

The aging process can be cruel, and for many people (and by many people I mean Tara Reid), the aging process can transform the most attractive woman (not Tara Reid) in the world into Sarah Jessica Parker.

Alas… Here. We. Go…

Alyssa Milano

Victoria Beckham

Little Rascal/Wal-Mart clerk

Tobey Maguire

Steve Urkel

Scarlett Johansson

Punky Brewster

Jeremy Piven/Michael Barth?

Brad Pitt

Pamela Manderson

Jerry O’Connell

Nicole Eggert

Mike Rowe

Mark Hamill

Marilyn Manson

Lindsay Lohan

Lil’ John

Leo DiCaprio

Stephanie from Full House

Karen from The Office

John Travolta

John Stewart

Michael Jackson

Ice Man

Hulk Hogan

Hayden Panettiere

Ricky Gervais

Edward Furlong

Fat Ginger from various 90’s era kid’s movies

Eric Bana

Elijah Wood

Dick Cheney

Elisha Cuthbert

Plays the ‘Creepy Dude’ in every movie he’s in

Creed from The Office

Nikki Cox (damn shame)

Stephen Colbert

Clint Eastwood

Charlie from Willy Wonka

That Guy

Roided Carrots

Bret McKenzie

Christian F_cking Bale

Angelina Jolie

Anakin Skywalker (just landed a role as ‘clerk’ in the upcoming LA based Wal-Mart)

Amy Winehouse

Carlton from Fresh Prince

Barry Balco Bonds

Tara Reid

Remember last week’s story about Sheyla Hershey, the 28-year-old woman who is addicted to enlarging her breasts? This story tops Shelya’s… at least as far as being top-heavy goes.

48-year-old Hang Mioku first went under the knife when she was an (mildly) attractive 28-year-old, and from the first cut she was addicted.

After several operations, her face was large and disfigured yet she still believed she was beautiful–but not beautiful enough.

She went back for more and more operations until doctors told her they wouldn’t operate on her any longer. So she did what any respectable, surgery loving, Jabba the Hutt looking woman should do–move to Japan for more surgery.

What Mioku didn’t count on is that jobs are tough to get and life is tough to live when you look like the half-dead son of parents Michael Jackson and Sloth from The Goonies–and remember, she’s a woman.

However, after numerous surgeries, money ran out and she feared she must resort back to normal life not looking like a carrot souffle.

Amazingly, she found a doctor that supplied her with silicon and needles so that she could inject her own face at a fraction of the cost.

But when even self medication became too costly, she looked sadly at the floor, reached for the bottle of Canola Oil that moments before had been used to bake banana nut muffins, filled a syringe, and injected oil into her deformed face.

Kids in the neighborhood began calling her “standing fan” due to her massive head atop her petite body.

Though Hang Mioku has lead a horrific life, at least she doesn’t have to run to the store to pick up a bottle of oil if she runs out while baking–she can simply puncture her face just below the lower fold of her eyelid and a streaming jet of oil will glaze her pan–and to Mioku, there’s nothing more satisfying than that.

Apparently Halloween is approaching quickly, and I’m still not exactly sure what day of the week it comes on because, well, I don’t keep track of days all that well. In any event, the following ten costumes will guarantee you don’t get laid at the end of the month.

But if you’re a betting man, just go for it and try to prove me wrong.

10. Nerd In A Portal

Props for thinking outside the box, but if you have any thoughts about getting laid on Halloween, try to refrain from wearing any costume that involves you having to explain why you’re not actually dressed up as a crippled guy sitting on the ground inside a cardboard box.