…You get the creepiest picture ever taken.

7. Ricky Williams

The Clean: NFL running back Ricky Willaims was arrested Feb. 21, 2000, for failing to sign a minor traffic ticket. Williams, driving his 1999 Hummer swerved the $80,000 truck from the far right lane to the far left lane without signaling, disrupting traffic on a three-lane street in Austin, Texas.

The Dirty: His mugshot revealed that he was as stoned as a witch in Salem, which addresses three things: why he wouldn’t sign the ticket, why there was a bucket of all dark meat KFC chicken wings in his lap (why he was swerving), and why he decided to “quit” the NFL temporarily… Brotha gotta get high.

6. Tony “Wild Turkey” LaRussa

The Clean: St. Louis Cardinal skipper, Tony LaRussa was arrested by Jupiter, Florida police in March 2007 and was charged with drunk driving. He was found slumped over the wheel at an intersection.

The Dirty: His notoriously red face isn’t a chameleon adaptation onset by wearing Cardinal red. Lay off the sauce LaRussa.