Electing just one athlete from an eclectic mix of 50+ stupid professional sports figures is no easy task, especially when John Daly and Lenny Dykstra are on the same bill. It’s a little too easy to nominate OJ because he’s the most prolific – his decade ago crime transcends the publicity that Plexico and Floyd Landis garnered combined, but when we take into consideration the fact that he opted to co-star in a Frank Drebbin flick, “Dumbest Athlete Ever” becomes a rather inaccurate title.

I’m torn between John Daly and Lenny Dykstra. How am I supposed to choose between a man who made and then lost all his money, and a man who’s stumblingly drunkenly in his footsteps (and into Hooters)?

Head on over to the official poll and cast your vote.

He actually probably didn’t do it, but when the jury began noticing shit like this, they huddled and said, “jesus god damn christ let’s just put this bastard away to shut these fucking retards up.”

Then they heard about the race card and thought, “it’s better we let this bastard get away with murder than have a bunch of angry retards that can’t spell trying to run us over with their Nissan Altimas.” And to this day, no OJ trial juror has been run over by an Altima.

Safe play jury, safe play.

I hate posting things that look like they were shot by a high school kid at his high school, but I’ll make an exception only because the other day I was wondering why I’ve never seen something like this done.

I started to convince myself that it was illegal, but now in retrospect, how could this be illegal if it’s legal for OJ Simpson to kill his wife?

7. Ricky Williams

The Clean: NFL running back Ricky Willaims was arrested Feb. 21, 2000, for failing to sign a minor traffic ticket. Williams, driving his 1999 Hummer swerved the $80,000 truck from the far right lane to the far left lane without signaling, disrupting traffic on a three-lane street in Austin, Texas.

The Dirty: His mugshot revealed that he was as stoned as a witch in Salem, which addresses three things: why he wouldn’t sign the ticket, why there was a bucket of all dark meat KFC chicken wings in his lap (why he was swerving), and why he decided to “quit” the NFL temporarily… Brotha gotta get high.

6. Tony “Wild Turkey” LaRussa

The Clean: St. Louis Cardinal skipper, Tony LaRussa was arrested by Jupiter, Florida police in March 2007 and was charged with drunk driving. He was found slumped over the wheel at an intersection.

The Dirty: His notoriously red face isn’t a chameleon adaptation onset by wearing Cardinal red. Lay off the sauce LaRussa.