Anyone who saw the Monday Night Football game last night between the Washington Redskins and the Philadelphia Eagles witnessed Michael Vick picking apart the Redskin secondary and shredding their defensive line.

Enter #92 Albert Haynesworth… if for only a couple of plays.

After two pro bowl selections with the Tennessee Titans in 2007 and 2008, the 6’6″ 335 lb Haynesworth signed a $100 million dollar 7-year deal with the Skins and has since become, in a nutshell, what you see above — a tired, ineffective waste of $100,000,000.

Although to be fair, he probably won’t see all of the money, and he has been an integral component of the Redskin defense, but only at times, and only when he feels like it, and only when he plays — he still hasn’t started a game this season because, for lack of a better description, he is a tired, ineffective waste of $100,000,000.

Watch the GIF, which is conveniently repeating ad nauseam, and what you see is what you get… for $100 million. Fat Albert giving up, #78 on the Eagles O-Line completely confused as to what he’s doing only to go block #99 who could have, if Fat Albert just didn’t quit and let #78 block, sacked Vick which would have subsequently prevented a touchdown.

That a boy!

But at least Albert Haynesworth brings a great personality to the team, right?

Eh, maybe not so much — he has a record of Paris Hilton proportions — which includes impregnating Silvia Mena, a New York stripper and then abandoning the kid and all financial responsibility, partially paralyzing Corey Edmonson after crashing into the Tennessee native while driving his Ferrari at speeds in excess of 100 MPH, and then there was the whole stomping incident.

Don’t remember that one?

On October 1, 2006, in the third quarter of a game against the Cowboys, running back Julius Jones ran for a touchdown. During the play, center Andre Gurode fell to the ground, and his helmet was ripped off by then Tennessee Titan Albert Haynesworth.

With Grude’s helmet off, Haynesworth tried to stomp on his head, but missed. A second stomp opened a severe wound on Gurode’s forehead, narrowly missing his right eye (video of the stompage). The referee assessed Haynesworth with a 15-yard unsportsmanlike conduct penalty, to which Haynesworth protested by taking off his helmet and throwing it into the turf; Haynesworth was then assessed an additional 15-yard penalty and ejected.

After the game Gurode received 30 stitches just above and below his right eye.

And all before he’s 30. Congrats Albert on being the biggest and largest douche in the NFL.

Being that I’ve spent my entire life living in Los Angeles, four of those years being at a Karl Dorrell led UCLA, I really have no football team to root for.

And as you can imagine, particularly if you’re from the greater LA area, when you have no team to root for, you either root for a) skull exploding hits, b) individual players failing their teams (a la Tony Romo’s season ending fumbled snap) or c) Notre Dame’s Jimmy Clausen accomplishing both a) and b) on an every-Saturday basis (things are looking pretty good for option c) thus far).

Because there simply aren’t enough minutes in the day to watch the dismemberment of Clausen, here are 5 great football celebration fails.

5. The – 40 Yard Dash

It’s not really a celebration fail per se, but still, everybody wants this guy on their team. let the recruitment process begin…

4. Cougars Don’t Leave Balls Unrecovered

Especially when the Cougars are desperate…

3. Wrong Endzone, Buddy

Some careers end with injury, but Jim Marshall’s career comes to an end after a successful fumble recovery.

2. Desean Jackson Is Premature

This isn’t going to make Andy Reid very happy…

1. Hall Of Fame Type Fail

If you could be inducted into the NFL Hall of Fame for anything but being a great player, this is what would earn your bid.

It’s easily the greatest single play in football history.

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McNabb was flagged for unsportsmanlike conduct.