Posts Tagged ‘Porno’

Seconds after Cardinals receiver Larry Fitzgerald scored on a touchdown pass from Kurt Warner to put the birds in the lead, Tucson, Arizona based Comcast Cable subscribers expected an end-zone dance but received a money shot.

Officials at the cable provider’s headquarters explained that 30 seconds of full-frontal male pornography from Club Jenna, an adult cable television channel, were shown on the local Super Bowl telecast to families and children of all ages–a scarring that will surely confuse young boys into believing that every time Larry Fitzgerald scores, massive white cocks will be pulled out of jeans and tossed around like thundersticks at Los Angeles Lakers games.

“The Star newsroom was flooded with calls from irate viewers who said that the porn cut into the game with less than three minutes left to play.

Callers said that the clip showed a woman unzipping a man’s pants, followed by a graphic act between the two.

“I just figured it was another commercial until I looked up,” said Cora King of Marana. “Then he did his little dance with everything hanging out.”

If you weren’t unlucky enough to be subjected to the massive white flesh-flute, follow this link if you must–the full video is provided (NSFW).

Something tells me Matt Leinart was behind this.

ALASKA, ALASKA? – At her administration office in Juneau, Alaska, on November 6th, Sarah Palin received her first “post embarrassing few months on TV” job offer, a job she’s more qualified for that VP… Porno.

Florida-based part-time porn director, full time classy-guy Cezar Capone has offered to pay Palin $2 million to appear in a $20 million adult film production – the other $18 million allegedly going to CGI work in order to make Palin’s body look less like Liza Minnelli’s. Current reports:

Capone promises in an open letter on his website that the film would be distributed internationally, shot in high definition and feature a “beautiful mother recognized by all of America as well as the rest of the world — the most desirable woman over 40.”

To prove he’s serious about the offer, Capone says he’s prepared to hold the money in escrow immediately.