Posts Tagged ‘Red Sox’

Last week I showed what happens when pitchers get angry and throw at batters in the pictorial 10 Great Baseball Beanings. Then just days later, 3 MLB players were hit in the head, including Dodger starting pitcher Hiroki Kuroda who took a line drive off the temple.

This week I’ve decided (mostly because I now believe I have agency over MLB hit-batters, and I love watching brawls) to explain what happens after the beanings (in pictorial form, because I know you don’t feel like reading).

Not surprisingly, there are plenty of Red Sox to go around, so naturally I’ll begin with the classic Pedro v. Don Zimmer.

Enjoy.

Finally in your fifty years of going to Red Sox games at Fenway you get your hands on a foul ball. Finally! Ever since the Sox broke the curse your luck has been on the up and up.

Ever since you were a kid you dreamed of wrapping your hands around David Ortiz’s balls; his hairy, sweaty, leathery foul balls. And even though your dream didn’t completely come true (you had to settle for Milton Bradley’s balls) you blew your fifteen seconds of fame; you literally blew Milton Bradley’s balls. And it was all caught on tape.

A while back, Boston Red Sox Carl Everett made his voice about religion and paleontology known, for better or worse, to the public. In an effort to explain why dinosaurs never walked our earth, he turns to God…

“ didn’t exist. God created the sun, the stars, the heavens and the earth, and then made Adam and Eve. The Bible never says anything about dinosaurs. You can’t say there were dinosaurs when you never saw them. Someone actually saw Adam and Eve. No one ever saw a Tyrannosaurus rex”

And I mean, the man’s got a point, someone had to see Adam and Eve to write the Bible right? How else would someone be able to write it? I mean, it’s not made up, it real, factual stuff. So someone was there in Eden with Adam and Eve writing all that crap down, C’mon now.

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