Valentine’s Day is rapidly approaching so I figured I should dedicate an article to coming up with ideas for what to do and where to take your woman on the special day.

For inspiration I turn to the wonderful, the creative, the attractive, the redneck.

Start by giving her roses

Make sure to call a babysitter

Take her for a ride on your Harley during the day

Or on horseback

Take her to The Opera

Take her to the beach to throw horseshoes

Buy her sexy lingerie

Let her use the bathroom to get ready

Take her out to Mastro’s Steakhouse in a limo

Or save some money and take a taxi

If you follow my advice, you’ll ensure yourself a wonderful evening with the woman you love. Fun during the day, a pleasant dinner, and hours of passionate sex.

And if you’re single…

Turn on Cartoon Network and watch re-runs of Family Guy