Scarlett Johansson, born and raised in NYC, is one of the hottest young actresses in Hollywood. And even though she is no longer single after recently marrying Ryan Reynolds, we found it necessary to compile a gallery of over 150 of the sexiest Scarlett Johansson photographs we could find.

Without further adieu, enjoy Banned’s Massive Scarlett Johansson Gallery below.

Time does interesting things to people — for some, time does to appearance what alcohol does to most socialites’ vision — it makes ugly people beautiful, but others are less fortunate.

The aging process can be cruel, and for many people (and by many people I mean Tara Reid), the aging process can transform the most attractive woman (not Tara Reid) in the world into Sarah Jessica Parker.

Alas… Here. We. Go…

Alyssa Milano

Victoria Beckham

Little Rascal/Wal-Mart clerk

Tobey Maguire

Steve Urkel

Scarlett Johansson

Punky Brewster

Jeremy Piven/Michael Barth?

Brad Pitt

Pamela Manderson

Jerry O’Connell

Nicole Eggert

Mike Rowe

Mark Hamill

Marilyn Manson

Lindsay Lohan

Lil’ John

Leo DiCaprio

Stephanie from Full House

Karen from The Office

John Travolta

John Stewart

Michael Jackson

Ice Man

Hulk Hogan

Hayden Panettiere

Ricky Gervais

Edward Furlong

Fat Ginger from various 90’s era kid’s movies

Eric Bana

Elijah Wood

Dick Cheney

Elisha Cuthbert

Plays the ‘Creepy Dude’ in every movie he’s in

Creed from The Office

Nikki Cox (damn shame)

Stephen Colbert

Clint Eastwood

Charlie from Willy Wonka

That Guy

Roided Carrots

Bret McKenzie

Christian F_cking Bale

Angelina Jolie

Anakin Skywalker (just landed a role as ‘clerk’ in the upcoming LA based Wal-Mart)

Amy Winehouse

Carlton from Fresh Prince

Barry Balco Bonds

Tara Reid

This enables the characters to go on long and frequently meaningless (mostly to the character’s ultimate goal) adventures that are extremely funny to the viewer–not because they are funny escapades, but because said viewer knows more about the character than the character knows about his or her own self.

A great example of this surfaces at the midpoint of the Farrelly Brothers’ Dumb & Dumber.

Lloyd and Harry are at a payphone attempting to figure out where Mary Swanson lives so that they can return her briefcase (which they don’t know is filled with ransom cash). This is the critical moment where their dialogue and the course of their quest turns upside down.

Harry: What’s her last name? I’ll look it up.
Lloyd: You know, I don’t really recall. Starts with an S! Let’s see. Swim? Swammi? Slippy? Slappy? Swenson? Swanson?
Harry: Maybe it’s on the briefcase.
Lloyd: Oh, yeah! It’s right here.
[He reads the manufacturer's name, which is Samsonite]
Lloyd: Samsonite! I was way off! I knew it started with an S, though.

Harry and Lloyd were so close to figuring out where their adventure would end. But through stupidity, they become re-routed on a meaningless journey to find Mary Samsonite.

The characters know less than the audience and this amplifies their own foolishness and the comedic load of the film.

Comparing this video to Dumb & Dumber is a stretch, but somehow SFW XXX, works on the same principles. The characters (or pornstars) become fools because thay are unaware of something the viewer can plainly see. They have no idea that their scenes have been transformed into rediculous cartoons–and it’s this genuine lack of awareness, coupled with the viewer’s knowledge of what’s really going on behind the animation, that makes this video one of the greatest videos YouTube has to offer.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkeFxSHfXo4

Scarlett Johansson at The Spirit cocktail party in Madrid

Jim Florentine’s 5 Tips for Annoying Telemarketers (The Bachelor Guy)
Win a Lenovo Y530 Laptop or Star Trek messenger bag (Gravy and Biscuits)
Big Buck Kicks Hunter’s Ass After Getting Shot.  (YepYep)
29 most controversial album covers (AfroJacks)
Abigail Clancy gets scandalous in her FHM shoot (Observation Bubble)
Forty over Forty: Sexy Older Actresses (Gunaxin)

My favorite spam (9 to Fried)
Layla Kiffin is going to the University of Tennessee, oh, and Lane too (Epic Carnival)
Iron Ref: Secret Weapon (Hugging Harold Reynolds)
Emmanuelle Chriqui looking sexy at Cadillac Records premiere (Celebridiot)
Ria Antoniou is a naughty 19 year old Greek (Bright Black Internet)
Julianne Hough Has The Right Stuff (MoonDog Sports)

Round 1: Returner (Woman you can bring home to the parents.)

1. Natalie Portman, Jerusalem, Irsael (Peter)
Reason for drafting: Shes’ hot, a Harvard grad and because she’s Jewish, she’ll like my mom because she can’t stand her own.

SeanThomas: I thought you were part German? That’s going to go over REAL well.
Peter: No moron, you’re part German. I’m Irish.
SeanThomas: Oh yeah. Well, you’ll be drunk either way.
Brotha Jonze: I’m part German, so you can have her. I look for a woman who can cook, and as a returner, Natalie Portman and my industrial-sized oven wouldn’t get along. I should just invest in a nice Dutch oven to avoid any complications in my future.

2. Scarlett Johansson, New York, New York (SeanThomas)
Reason for drafting: She’s got bust written all over her, and I don’t really mind. Physically gifted, fluid hips, and she’s charming. She wins my dad’s heart without saying a word. Did I mention she dresses classy?

Brotha Jonze: Don’t get me wrong, she looks good now, but give her ten years and those chest hams will sag and she’ll put on a few pounds… which is unacceptable as a returner, you’re looking for quickness in the sack and consistency. Imagine her with a belly, the face just doesn’t hold up.
SeanThomas: She’s reached her ceiling, I’ll give you that. Hopefully her legs can reach mine.
Brotha Jonze: Touche, good sir. Touche.

3. Gemma Atkinson, Bury, Greater Manchester, England (Brotha Jonze)

Reason for drafting: Her accent.

SeanThomas: Your parents must subscribe to the “she has an English accent and therefore smart” theory, which most Americans seem to have. Her intelligence is about as real as her chest.
Brotha Jonze: Which is perfect because I get all the benefits of others thinking she’s smart without actually being so. Why would you want a smart girl, Sean? If you dated a smart chick, she’d leave you before you got her in bed.
SeanThomas: Gemma seems to dig the soccer players. On the bright side, you might be the first straight guy she’s screwed.
Peter: Enjoy your raging case of the Cristiano Ronaldo strain.
Brotha Jonze: Hey, at least AIDS kills you. Better than living the rest of your life with a bumpy dick right?

Round 2: Shortstop (Woman under 5′2″)

1. Jaime Hammer, Chicago, Illinois (Brotha Jonze)

Reason for drafting: At 5′2″ and 34DD, I don’t know how she manages to stay upright. It’s great because she’ll be anxious to get on her back… Plus I already know what she looks like naked… which is nice (See JaimeHammer.com)

SeanThomas: Sorry, you won’t be able to have sex with Jaime. for you are not a) a porn star or b) her uncle. Enjoy your therapy sessions.
Brotha Jonze: Hey, as long as it’s massage therapy I’m cool.
Peter: Picking a porn star is a risky move, they’re known to have character issues, but they are team players.
Brotha Jonze: And disease free.
SeanThomas: I hear she handles the tip drill well.
Brotha Jonze: As well as my massive drill tip.

2. Hayden Panettiere, Palisades, New York (SeanThomas)

Reason for drafting: At 5′2 and only 18 years young, she’s got a great upside and even better backside. She saves dolphins (not the NFL variety, that’s impossible) for chrissakes. God made this perfect creature for me, and I shall take her god. I shall take her.

Peter: Sean continues his draft philosophy of taking girls right out of high school, and the occasional sixteen year old Dominican.
Brotha Jonze: Erroneous, the Dominican was actually a 23 year old Dodger prospect. A big mistake that, if you don’t remember, disqualified him from the 2003 draft. As far as high school goes though, he’s trying to get what he couldn’t when he went to high school.
SeanThomas: I subscribe to the Chris Hanson school of drafting, scout them when they’re young, pick them when they’re ripe.
Brotha Jonze: … and if one of then turns out to be a 23 year old Dominican male, roll with it.
SeanThomas: Don’t hate the player, hate the penis.

Between Picks:
Peter: Goddamn it, she’s 5′3.”
Brotha Jonze: Who?
Peter: Emmanuelle Chriqui.
SeanThomas: Just take the wife from Little People, Big World and get it over with.
Brotha Jonze: Haha
SeanThomas: On a side note, Jaime Hammer majored in communications at Arizona State. I don’t know which is a worse bottom; majoring in communications at ASU or being a porn star. My money’s on the former.
Brotha Jonze: Well yea, softcore ain’t that bad. ASU, whole different story.
SeanThomas: “I went on to graduate in the spring of 2004 Cum Laude with a BA in communications.” It’s only a matter of time before she starts hardcore.

3. Reese Witherspoon, New Orleans, Louisiana (Peter)

Reason for drafting: I have a candy fetish and want to call a girl’s Reese’s Pieces in bed.

SeanThomas: If you’re going the candy route, at least go for Heather Graham, she was Roller-girl for chrissakes. Instead you pick an over 30 divorcee with a kid?
Brotha Jonze: Plus she sounds like a mixture between Miss Piggy and Felix the Cat. Though to a man with a fetish, sounding like a barnyard animal probably isn’t such a bad thing.
SeanThomas: That’s not even counting her singing voice. Johnny Cash would beat her with the butt-end of his guitar if he was still alive for that atrocious performance.
SeanThomas: I see her listed at 5′3, again you’re trying to squeeze an inch on someone. Too bad we’re not your gullible ex-girlfriend.
SeanThomas: Peter, if you have any retorts, please feel free. If not, i haven’t seen a raping that bad since Kobe was released inside the Bunny Ranch.
Peter: I didn’t even realize that was an insult. I’m kind of a skimmer. When I saw “squeezing an inch” and “ex girlfriend” I assume Sean was bitching about his sex life again. Impressive muscle control on that girl, though.
Brotha Jonze: “Ex girlfriend” should have tipped that Sean wasn’t in the equation.

Round 3: Long Reliever (Tall Woman)

Between Picks:
Peter: What qualifies for tall girl?
SeanThomas: 5′11 and above.
Peter: 5′11″? You f-cker. Make it 5′10″.
SeanThomas: You’re not allowed to pick siblings, anyway.

1. Mandy Moore, Nashua, New Hampshire (Peter)

Reason for drafting: She’s 5′11.”

Brotha Jonze: Damn! Never knew she was that tall.
SeanThomas: There should be an automatic DQ for being associated with A Walk to Remember.
Peter: Yeah, I’ll give her A Cock to Remember.
Brotha Jonze: Not that 1″ BS again…
SeanThomas: Yeah, I doubt she’s seen one that small. That’s bound to emotionally scar anyone.
Peter: Plus I can marry her, have her die off in a year, and I get all her sh-t.
SeanThomas: Your wardrobe lacking sequins gowns these days? That’s about all she’s got to offer besides her bad choice in men.
Brotha Jonze: Which would surprisingly give Peter a shot.

2. Maria Sharapova, Siberia, Russia (SeanThomas)

Reason for drafting: At an amazing 6′1, Ronald Reagan wouldn’t hate the reds so much if he knew they’d produce this babe. Quite the forehand, I hear. That and it’s easy living off her $23 million salary. Hey, someone has to support the couch and TV…

Peter: And as an upside, you can get a lucrative contract with Canon to be the next insignificant and annoying pet that she lets watch when she has sex.
SeanThomas: As long as i have some place to sit and a box of tissues handy…
Brotha Jonze: Tissues to clean up some other guys mess?
SeanThomas: I heard she’s a squirter, just doing my part.
Brotha Jonze: Ok, I get it, like the ball boys that run across the grass at Wimbledon.

3. Janet Reno, Miami, Florida (Brotha Jonze)

Reason for drafting: Coming in at an astounding 6′3″ and weighing upwards of 230 lbs, I choose Janet Reno as the closing pick of the 3rd round. Frankly I’m surprised this workhorse didn’t go earlier.

SeanThomas: Veteran pick, I like the experience.
Peter: You can only pick Reno for tall if you pick Albright for shortstop. You can call your bitches “The Cabinet.”
Brotha Jonze: Which, unfortunately, is where I will have to keep them if I keep choosing cattle like Reno.
SeanThomas: On the downside, if you pick Eva Mendes in a future round, she’ll send her ass packing back to Cuba.
Peter: I feel like Reno can carry the load for your team.
Brotha Jonze: Which is great because i don’t want her near my load. Strategy over sexuality, boys.

Round 4: Tightend (Best ass)

1. Brittany Daniel, Gainesville, Florida (Brotha Jonze)

Reason for drafting: I officially select Brittany Daniel with long hair because she has a smokin’ body and was in one episode of “Still the Beaver.”

Peter: She also played a tranny on “Always Sunny,” which I’m guessing is when you took an interest in her.
SeanThomas: Pre-op is just investing early. It’s like getting shares of Google in ‘04.
Brotha Jonze: Right, or entering your senior year of college while dating a high school chick. Got to get ‘um fresh.
SeanThomas: I’m curious, after the operation, do you use the penis as wall decoration or do you throw it into your jambalaya?
Brotha Jonze: Sautee it with the sausage and shellfish, you’ll never know the difference.

2. Keyra Agustina, Buenos Aires, Argentina (SeanThomas)

Reason for drafting: With the second selection of the 4th round, I’m going out of the country to Argentina. She’s a sleeper pick (and can use her caboose as a pillow). If you don’t know her ass, Google it. It appears more times than her face.

Brotha Jonze:That ass hasn’t seen pants in so long, it’s oxidizing.
SeanThomas: There aren’t enough Chinese laborers in the world to sew her a pair of pants to fit that thing.
Brotha Jonze: Tell that to Oprah.
SeanThomas: Yeah, but she outsources to Africa. What, you thought that school was free?

3. Jessica Biel, Ely, Minnesota (Peter)

Reason for drafting: A girl who agreed to be in Stealth will agree to do anything.

SeanThomas: I’m not surprised Peter took Biel. He loves Justin Timberlake’s sloppy seconds. You thought those were Federline’s kids? The cleft palate and bangs were a dead giveaway it was Peter.
Brotha Jonze: That’s a great point Sean, and based on Timberlake’s Track record (see: Britney Spears) Biel’s degeneration has already begun.
SeanThomas: The Peter Principle in action.

Round 5: Special Teams (Girl with a handicap)

1. Marlee Matlin, Morton Grove, Illinois (Peter)

Reason for drafting: The thought of that voice talking dirty makes me giggle.

SeanThomas: It’s a good thing she’s deaf because she won’t be able to hear you cry after sex.
Brotha Jonze: It is nice to see a celebrity with some humility. Her next film, “Silent Knights” hits box offices later this year.

2. Jennifer Krum, Harrisburg, Pennsylvania (SeanThomas)

Reason for drafting: The first of Howard Stern’s Miss Amputee. She’s got a wicked stiff arm. Plus she was in Playboy, that fulfills two fantasies.

Peter: Finally Sean has found a girl who can get her elbow past his sphincter.
SeanThomas: We can’t all be as loose as you.

Between picks:
SeanThomas: Ten bucks he’s going to take Corky from Life Goes On.

3. Agusta Urica, Luanda, Angola (Brotha Jonze)

Reason for drafting: I see you’re Miss Amputee and raise you Miss Landmine 2008.

SeanThomas: I thought about Agusta, but i want a woman with more agility.
Brotha Jonze: Something necessary for special teams. http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,345628,00.html
Peter: Of course its on Fox News.
SeanThomas: I guess she doesn’t fit the profile for being fair or balanced. Timber!
Brotha Jonze: That’s true, but “Urica, who is unemployed and represents the capital, Luanda, also won $1,000, a motorbike, clothes, a weekend in a luxury hotel and a variety of domestic appliances.”
Peter: A motorbike? Do they want her to be the kickstand?
SeanThomas: I love how she gets domestic appliances, though. That’s like saying “you’re pretty much useless as a human being, we hope you like to cook and clean.”

Round 6: Designated Hitter (Woman who does drugs)

1. Mo’Nique, Woodlawn, Maryland (Peter)

Reason for drafting: I’m about to head out, so I’m going to trade up to this draft slot and take Mo’Nique as my designated hitter, for the sole reason that she looks like David Ortiz.

SeanThomas: Designated hitter is someone who does drugs, which explains your last pick, I guess.
Peter: Horse tranquilizers count.
SeanThomas: Going on a date with Sarah Jessica Parker tonight?

2. Charlize Theron, Benoni, South Africa (Brotha Jonze)

Reason for drafting: One thing a good DH is, is resourceful and flexible. You’re not playing everyday and so as my final pick I am going with Charlize Theron because hitting an apple is clutch, what else do you need from your DH?

SeanThomas: Well, at least Charlize smokes from apples, Gweneth Paltrow names her kids after them.

3. Tara Conner, Dallas, Texas (SeanThomas)

Reason for drafting: The former Miss USA winner is a bisexual coke addict.

Brotha Jonze: Is she a pageant winner or student at USC? I don’t expect her to go outside the foul lines often, she’ll probably just snort them.

Scarlett Johansson at the Michael J Fox thing. It was some thing that went on the other day, or maybe yesterday. Probably a benefit thing with donations or a silent auction and massive boobs pushed together looking pretty good.

Must see Jack Black from a red band Tropic Thunder scene [Trailer Addict]
This girl sure does give some good head [Salty Milk]
Now this is some good teamwork [Co-ed Magazine]
The hottest motorcycle babe ever [uncoached]
Which one is your kind of Cruz? [on 205th]

Lohan can’t married to the girl she wants, well at least for now [Celebslam]
You know you wish you could have driven this car [Brahsome]
Some thoughts about Transporter 3 [Next Round]
These angels are getting ready for the holiday season [Celebridiot]
Porn mode is now available to you on Firefox [Tasty Booze]
Avril Lavigne gets drunk [Drunken Stepfather]

Shortly after Alanis Morissette got fat, Ryan Reynolds made a strategic move and dumped her for Scarlett Johansson. Unfortunately for every guy that prefers good looking women, their relationship got serious, and over the weekend the 23 year old bombshell became a wife.

Not only that, they did it in Cranada, which (like getting a breast reduction) is like slapping God in the face. Because she’ll probably put on the “Reynolds Rolls” like Alanis, below you will find images that are easy on the eyes.

Drunk guy owned by magic marker – Camel Tap
Playboy’s Girls of the Big Ten causing drama – Busted Coverage
The Volleythong. It just sounds sexy. – On 205th
Emmanuelle Chriqui knows how to party – Cuzoogle
Screaaaamin’ A has a run in with a blogger in Vegas – Brahsome
Will Ferrell answers your questions – Tasty Booze
10 NFL player blogs that need to come out soon – Uncoached

Greatest TV hangouts – YepYep
Cristiano’s in love with a stripper – The Angry T
A man gets raped by a donkey – Blog of Hilarity
Some bikini poon for ya – Mac Gs World
Jenny McCarthy’s sister is a POA – BBI
Mischa Barton’s nip slip – Derober

Condomed – CollegeHumor
Ex-Cheerleader likes em young – Busted Coverage
Cheerleader takes a ball to the face – DonChavez

How to take sexy photos – Asylum

Kerri Russel took a cold walk in the rain – On 205th
China loves Kobe. The baller not the beef. – Cuzoogle
John Daly hangs likes Hooters – Brahsome
Exercise embarrassment – Tasty Booze

Porn inspector demands free videos – Uncoached
Pacman the movie – Yep Yep

Random girl – WebGirls
Irina Sheik is a hot model. It’s a chick, not “The Iron Sheik”. – Camel Tap
Colt 45 anyone? – Double Viking

Crane drops truck – Horny Oyster
Kayden Kross is one hot POA – Holy Taco
Marissa Miller is stunning – Celebridiot

Rob Schneider and some hot chick in a bikini – Drunken Stepfather
The Mother of all Ebay excuses – Holy Taco

Top 10 Treadmill Disasters – Don Chavez

Michael Phelps Olympic training regimen – Busted Coverage
You’ve just been Bel-Aired – Afro Jacks
If L.A. had a football team – Banned in Hollywood
Almudena Cid FHM pics – Camel Tap

Olga Kurylenko spank bank pics – Gorilla Mask
Paula Garces nipping out – Blog of Hilarity
A wet t-shirt gallery! – Bright Black Internet

Bar Refaeli swimsuit pics – Next Round
10 ugliest political mistresses – Comedy
Guess the breats - On 205th

Miranda Kerr in Ralph Magazine – Horny Oyster
Caption this Ron Jeremy picture (SFW) – Double Viking
The 15 hardest drinking city – The Bachelor Guy
The worst video games based on TV shows – Asylum