Posts Tagged ‘scenesters’

If Los Angeles Had A Football Team…

Posted on 25 Sep 2008 at 1:13am

Because naming a team from Los Angeles The Rams makes about as much sense as seeing a Matthew McConaughey flick, the team at Banned In Hollywood decided to come up with some suggestions for an LA football team name based on the virtuous Los Angeles reputation.

And because Pittsburgh is known for its thieves, Kansas City for its Police squad and Green Bay for its gay district, we decided that looking to what the great city of Los Angeles has to offer would inspire us.

The Los Angeles Failed Actors AKA the LA Thespians:

When considering what the LA Failed Actors uniform would be, I exhausted myself because actors wear so many different costumes. But then I realized that the most common outfit actors in Los Angeles wear are waiter’s clothes. Think about it, it’s perfect – The Cincinnati Bengals aren’t actually Tigers, they just dress up that way. And similarly, the LA Failed Actors aren’t really Waiters, they just dress that way, because in reality they’re actors, failed or not.

The only problem the Failed Actors might face as a team, could be their reliability on the field; they’d constantly be showing up late because they couldn’t afford cars so they’d ride bikes, and always miss games for auditions that they never would end up getting.

The Los Angeles Scenesters:

The LA Scenesters may run into problems because, as a general rule, emo scenesters don’t do helmets. In order to look as good as they think they do, they have to flat-iron half of their hair, then flap-jack it to one side, spike the tail of their man-mullet (pronounced Moo-Lei), and feather the other half of their hair, all the while leaving time to iron their black, collard Hot Topic shirt, put on their skinny tie, throw on their scarf and blazer and drive to the gas station to fill up their Scion XB and buy cigarettes. On the one hand however, they’ll already have the really tight pants and black eye makeup.

Plus, like the Arizona Diamondbacks being nicknamed the D-Backs, we could nickname the Los Angeles Scenesters the D-Bags.

Advertisement

More Posts

News Archive

November 2009
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun
« Oct    
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
30