That’s not to say there is no validity in the ideas he speaks about (at least from what I’m able to interpret, which by no fault of my own, is minimal).

I’m all for conservative distribution of designer drugs – but when it comes to speaking out against Riddlin and Adderall on live television to talk-show hosts, I have learned vicariously through the body of a certain d-bag that you don’t have to act like a complete d-bag when doing so, even if you are one…

The Today Show With Matt Lauer

As I mentioned before, I’m all for laying off the pill-popping, but that doesn’t necessarily give me the right to start misusing words like glib. If it were up to me, no one would ever use the word glib again, especially when they’re being glib in using said word.

Matt Matt Matt, you don’t even know what Riddelin is.

Tom On Oprah

Nothing says crazy like a white guy jumping up and rubbing his dirty ass feet on a black person’s couch… the whole blatant expression of outofyourfuckingmind thing doesn’t really help much either…

Crazy Tom’s Scientology Video

Watching this video is a lot like being punched in the face really really hard by a really really big dude – you put yourself in a situation you knew you should have never been in, and after you come-to, your thought process feels a little more like Paris Hilton’s feels (or doesn’t feel… though I can’t really blame her – no one ever teaches you that donkey-punches shouldn’t be an everyday thing).

I promise you can watch zero seconds of this video and understand more than you would if you watched the entire thing.

Tommy Takes A Wet One To The Face

He actually appears to enjoy the shot to the face until he realizes that he’s both on the receiving end of a prank, and that the projected liquid is less viscous and less salty than he expected.

Tom Killing Oprah

Sure there are more worthy ‘Crazy Tom’ videos clogging up the intertubes, but I couldn’t resist saving this classic for last.

Much like the mental patients in psychiatric wards across the country, Scientologists (and those who should be) seek solace in the chowder-headedness of it’s Church. Like many religions founded on faith, and faith alone, believers are told not to question the church, not to question their faith, and in turn, they will receive salvation. And because Scientology professes this very idea, believers (Tom Cruise, Katy Holmes, Kirstie Alley, Lisa Marie Presley, and John Travolta among other forgettables) fail to question the intentions of the Church’s founder (and Science Fiction Writer), L. Ron Hubbard. The same guy who spoke blatantly stating, what appear to be his true intentions, “You don’t get rich writing science fiction. If you want to get rich, you start a religion (read more here).” So how, in any normal frame of mind, does one “believe” in this fortune of a church.

That’s easy. They are this guy.

And is this guy (along with his other celebrity cronies) someone we really want to consider part of our “normal” society, or is he better off labeled “Scientologist,” which is, at least in my own educated and correct opinion, synonymous with insane (not that Evangelical isn’t). So let’s not pull a Reagan and close down the insane asylums. Let’s brand these people with the mark of idiocy, to allow them to stand out as, well, different. Don’t listen when they speak, and in turn say, “yea, ok tom.” Let’s keep the Church of Scientology on it’s feet, visit it’s patients during reserved visiting hours (MI4, or Risky Business if you’re the renting type), and keep our streets cleansed of the pollutants that be; Scientologists.